Wednesday, 22 August 2007

Ruf Spots

The first time I saw Ruf was around the time I was involved with MrUD, nearly three years ago. We were both at a seminar. I didn't even notice him until we were in the pub afterwards. Then he was introduced to me and I can still see the scene in my head so it must have made an impact although there is nothing to tell. We didn't talk and my overriding memory is of someone quiet and shy kept securely within the bosom of his students. But that picture remained in my head.

Cakespeak: I was seeing MrUD, I wasn't really noticing other blokes

The second time was a few months later when I went to train at his class. Everyone said what a good teacher he was and I was in a quandary about where to go next with my training so I drove nearly 200 miles to see what he had to offer. Again, he was very quiet and didn't really talk to me other than to give me some instruction during the lesson. We did have some trouble communicating at first because of our different accents.

The thing I do remember is how fit he was... oh stop that, as in stamina! I'm not completely obsessed by beefcake you know. I mean they did this really long warm up - almost 45 minutes of press ups - knuckle, hindu, crocodile - loads of squats and sit ups, jogging, butt lifts, shadow boxing. It went on and on and he is not like one of those instructors who stands around calling out instructions, he joins in all of it and still has the breath and the energy to call out the moves! And then taught another 90 minutes of lesson afterwards.

Afterwards, he gave me the addresses of some teachers in my area who would follow the same syllabus that he taught.

Cakespeak: I was still clinging onto the hope that MrUD and I could sort things out, I wasn't really noticing other blokes.

The third time I met him was a couple of months after that. I had gone to an event and he took the time to come over and ask how my training was going, which was very flattering.

At the end, I went over to a friend to say goodbye. He happened to be chatting with Ruf and, after I kissed C, it seemed churlish of me to just ignore the guy who had been so very helpful to me in terms of changing the direction of my training. So I reached up and kissed his cheek.

I had never been so close to him before and I felt his hand on my hip. Then something happened. I can't really explain it properly. The only way I can describe it is to say it was as if something deep down inside me recognised him, remembered him. As if my body had known him somewhere before a long, long time ago. I didn't want to let go. I wanted to stay safe and warm in the circle of his arm. It just felt like the right place to be.

For the first time in six months, the tendrils and chains that had secured my heart so steadfastly to MrUD loosened and started to fall away. Was it pheromones? It certainly wasn't lust because I wasn't sure I even found him attractive. It definitely was not love at first sight or anything earth shattering. I wish I could say that there were lightning bolts or a chorus of angels with harps, but there were none of those things. Just this inexplicable feeling that this moment was somehow very important with no idea why.

I pulled away and stood staring at him like a halfwit as he smiled back at me. And then there was an eruption of noise and another friend launched himself at me. He had seen me getting ready to leave and wanted to say goodbye. Before I knew what was happening, I was enveloped in a crowd of kissing, hugging and wellwishing as all the good feelings of the day were expressed effusively.

By the time I emerged from the melee and looked for him, he had gone.

Cakespeak: What the fuck just happened?


Dazza said...

Yeah, you don't get bells, arrows, lightning strikes or any kinda warning... shame really, sometimes you don't realise how you feel until months or even years later!! Good for you that it hit you in real time... Dxx

Mr. & Mrs SW said...

We interpret events based on what is going on inside of us

Anonymous said...

"as if something deep down inside me recognised him, remembered him."

Yes! Love that feeling.

Lady in red said...

I wanted to stay safe and warm in the circle of his arm. It just felt like the right place to be.

I recognise that feeling :-)

Im really glad you found him

Anonymous Boxer said...

Awwwwwww - I liked the ""as if something deep down inside me recognised him, remembered him." part, too.

Oooh, I also noticed you said "shadow boxing."

n said...

I identify with the remembering part too. Like you there wasn't mad lust or anything, just a wierd feeling of knowing he was going to be in my life. Reading that gave me goosebumps. x

Angela-la-la said...

Seeing as I'm having trouble finding the words to describe my weekend with Bing I may have to steal yours.

bittersweet me said...

a lovely beginning, and a warm fuzzy feeling here.

Pixie said...

just such a gentle start, sweet and slow, only to be followed by now!
still holding out for the weekend, or have you cheated yet?

Luka said...

I am still getting my head round the kind of training that involves (shudder) physical exercise! I thought you meant with flipcharts and marker pens until I read down!

Loving Annie said...

I've had that kind of thing happen before too, Cake. You are so caught up in loving and then holding onto and then grieving over someone else that your heart is frzen with them and you think there'll never be anyone else -- and then all of a sudden someone just gets you physically and your heart goes 'huh' ? And you know, and you begin to thaw, and

Loving Annie said...

p.s. Would you be willing to add me to your links ?
You're on mine, and I'm trying really hard to broaden my reader base !
Thank you ! I appreciate it, Cake !

Anonymous said...

Beautiful, absolutely beautiful. Good for you for recognizing that the moment was important. I still maintain that he is a lucky, lucky man, and I'm so glad that he knows it.

Gypsy said...

Did you say Ruf was quiet and SHY???? Well I must pay more attention to the shy ones from now on because Lordy, from what you've been describing.....SHY??? Are you sure????

That was a very touching post Cake and you can't beat that feeling of recognition that something important just happened even when you can't quite articulate it at the time.

Gypsy said...

Sorry, I tagged you.

BenefitScroungingScum said...

I got tired just reading about that level of exercise!
That feeling of knowledge is so inexplicably 'it' it's just great you found 'it'

Loving Annie said...

Hi Cake, it's Thursday ! Thank you ! Hope that you are having a good one :)

having my cake said...

Thanks everyone for your comments. I will try to continue the story next week but there are still a few other loose ends to clear up first :)
Im off to visit Ruf for a few days but I will try to do gypsy's tag and post something whilst Im away.

DJ Kirkby said...

oh dear...sounds like your body recognised it's 'soul mate' to use a hippie term.