Sunday 25 November 2007

Tits Up - date

Gok Wan said the average bra size for UK women is 36C.

Our survey of blog readers received 42 votes as follows:

A/AA
2 (4%)

B/BB
7 (16%)

C/CC
11 (26%)

D/DD
16 (38%)

E/EE
6 (14%)

On 'How to Look Good Naked' Wednesday C4 8pm, Gok is going around the country helping women to feel good about their naked bodies and he has discovered similar facts to those highlighted by Trinny and Susannah (Undress the Nation ITV1 Tuesday 8pm) only a few weeks earlier: Women are wearing the wrong size bras. They have gaps between the fabric and the flesh. They have flesh busting out all over. There are even women who appear to have four breasts!

His top tips to remember in calculating whether your bra fits are:

1. Lift (or better still, get someone else to stand behind you and put their fingers under) the straps of your bra at the topmost point of your shoulder. If the fabric stretches more than 1" upwards away from your shoulders, then your bra straps are not tight enough. The straps have little buckles on them for loosening and tightening - USE THEM to adjust for optimum support every time you don your underwear!

2. The flat bit in between the two cups should fit snugly against your body. If there is a gap, your bra doesn't fit.

3. If there is any seepage ANYWHERE - from underneath the cups, bulbousness over the top of the cup or flesh squeezing out by your armpits - the cup size is too small.

Ladies, we need to look after ourselves because a bra that is too small looks horrible, feels horrible and will not support your beautiful bosoms!

Remember, if you wash your bra in the washing machine, this will have an effect on the elasticity of said garment. Sometimes they can shrink and sometimes they can expand so, if you are wearing a bra that is more than two years old and is washed once a week, the chances are that it is probably not adhering to your cupcakes in the way that it did when brand new.

Check it out and if it's seen better days, go down to a good bra shop, get yourself properly measured and invest in a new model. One word of caution: Please remember the discrepancy between measurements that Trinny and Susannah experienced and when you try on the different styles in what is the recommended size, bear in mind Gok's golden rules as listed above.

Inspired by the bravery of the average woman in the street who has been prepared to reveal all for Gok or Trinny and Susannah, I have started to fully appreciate the beauty of my own boobtastic chest in addition to my fabulous arse. And I've stopped worrying about what I consider to be a blubbery tummy. Almost every woman who has ever carried a child to full term has exactly the same 'damage'. We/I have to stop worrying about these things and rejoice that our bodies did such a fantastic thing and still lived to tell the tale. These pointers - a bit of saggy skin, a few stretchmarks - are all just signs showing that our bodies did what they were meant to do.

Do we not see our menfolk proudly preening their beer bellies in front of the mirror? Surely, as women, we should stop beating ourselves up for the changes that have occurred in our own bodies through the most natural act in the world when our men certainly won't be denying themselves an extra pint or pie for fear that we might suddenly dump them. I'm not saying that we shouldn't be doing things to try to tighten things up if that is what we want to do but we should be doing exercise and eating a little less because we want to look good for us - not just because we fear that our mate will find us unattractive and go off in search of a younger model.

These programmes should be compulsory viewing for all of us with body issues because we don't all have the stick-thin figure of Kate Moss or the voluptuous hour glasses of various movie stars that bombard us from the television. We all have different beautiful shapes - bells, vases, columns, cellos, apples, pears, to name but a few. We just have to learn how to dress them to maximise our assets. But, above all, we need to learn to love our bodies and ourselves for without that inner beauty, we are lost in a sea of self-esteem issues.

This was another issue that was brought out in C5's 'How to have Sex after Marriage'. So many women who hated their appearance and had no self-confidence as a result. That lack of belief meant that they were scared to initiate intimacy with their husbands at all - and certainly not with the lights on! You men can help here. I know it's high maintenance, but we desperately need to hear you tell us how desirable we are and how beautiful you find us. I know, I know. But if you say it often enough, we have to believe :)

So ladies, we all need to stand in front of a mirror and chant the mantra 'I am a beautiful woman and I am gorgeous.'

Say it and believe it... because YOU ARE!!!!

Rant over. Cake gets off her soapbox...

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

12 comments:

Gorilla Bananas said...

"in addition to my fabulous arse"

You have a fabulous arse? I'm impressed. That's definitely the hardest thing for the human female to achieve - even the young ones. Most women have perfectly acceptable boobs.

Joanna Cake said...

GB, It may not be pink or blue like other primates but I've been assured it is fabulous.

Look to the right, Mr Monkeyman, look to the right...>>>>

The question that I am most often asked about this blog does not concern the writing or the subject matter but: 'Is that really your arse?'

Well, yes, it is. And, after 30 turbulent years, I finally realise that it is a marvellous asset and I'm no longer afraid to share it :)

Angela-la-la said...

I do agree when it comes to the well fitting bra thing. One of the things I noticed after being grappled round the floor and giving Gav a faceful of my chest today was that I'd worn a very old sports bra and the girls had escaped once under pressure!

Still, it was worth that to feel you gripping me with all your might whilst between my legs then see you flying over me when I utilised hunters mentality with hip power... ;-)

Vi said...

I always tell my clients to go get fitted for new bras after they've lost some weight, it's amazing the difference of their shape when they do.

Most of my clothes I get from charity shops, giving to me, or I buy in sales.

My underwear is normally more expensive than my outfit.

I don't mind paying £30 on a bra, because I know it makes my clothes look good on me, and they normally last years.

BenefitScroungingScum said...

I've got a real thing about underwear, but I find whatever size I go for, and however expensive the bra they never really fit properly, maybe it's my bodyshape?!

I never knew a fabulous arse was the hardest thing for a woman to achieve, you learn something new every day! Cake, you do have a fabulous one indeed! BG x

Joanna Cake said...

Ange, I have to say that is the first time Ive ever been between someone's legs and had them forcibly eject me x

Vi, absolutely. Get the best and it will last.

BG, Have you been to some of the specialist fitters where they do the AA, BB, CC sizes? It makes such a difference.

Anonymous said...

I like his show. But 36C? That's what it's supposed to be in the US, but the UK sizing system is a bit different, I think.. and if I recall it correctly, a 36C in the US is a 36D in the UK?

That would make him right?

I dunno. I read the average woman wears a cup size too small, anyway.

I'm a 34DD, myself, which should be 34E in the UK. Or, that's what the charts I've seen say.

Anonymous said...

this blog is SO highly brilliant.

& your bottom is a lovely one indeed, its so great when women realise.

kisses!

Karen said...

I certainly wish I had your arse Cake although mine has been described as "cute". You are absolutely right that we should look after ourselves better for us, not just so we don't get traded in. If only we could all look in the mirror and love ourselves just the way we are.

I have heard men say that the sexiest thing for them is a woman with confidence. Worth thinking about.

Daren said...

Informative and arousing by turns... I'm addicted I think!

Dxxx

Joanna Cake said...

Isa, I had no idea that American bra sizes were as different to ours as their normal dress measurements.

Thyme, Thank you and Welcome.

Gypsy, Im convinced that confidence is key. If you watch these programmes, you can see the women just glowing by the time the experts have finished with them. It's wonderful. Nothing about their bodies has actually changed that much, just their perception of it.

Dazza, but addicted to what? LMAO

Fire Byrd said...

I so agree, self esteem is directly related to know we dress, inside and out.

And you have great butt!

And given that I'm a few years older than you I need to say I have a great butt and legs too
pxx.