Sunday, 20 April 2008


I was reading Marcelle's piece on Golden Showers recently.

It reminded me of the time Ruf and I decided to try out that particular fantasy. I mean, it seemed harmless enough. He stood over me and started a little golden dribble. He had promised he would start with a few drips onto my body - just so I could see what it was like. Nothing too fetishist and it seemed to fit in with the whole D/s road upon which we had made our first tentative steps.

The drops landed, warm and wet, upon my belly and it didn't seem too unpleasant so I let him continue. Unfortunately, neither of us had really thought this through properly, for the few drips became a puddle which quickly spread over my very small midriff until there was nowhere else to go but down... over the sides... onto the bed. And, of course, once started, the trickle gradually became a torrent that spattered onto the already overflowing pool and ricocheted spray even further beyond.

Ruf carried on regardless. I am advised it is rather difficult to stop mid-pee - although it is something all you guys should be working on as it exercises those important muscles that assist with the longevity of erections - but the pitter-patter of liquid splashing onto the sheet beside me succeeded in suppressing all my lustful urges and replaced them with 'mother' instincts. My concerned protestations didn't seem to bother Ruf at all until I leapt up off the bed yelling and pushed him in the direction of the bathroom.

I have done enough bedtime lifting and potty training in my lifetime that I am not unfamiliar with all the problems related thereto. All I could think of was the mattress and the smell of stale urine that was going to be with us for some time if we didn't do something about it promptly.

Dragging off the sheet and soaking up the splatters as best I could, I called for disinfectant and spent the next 20 minutes cleaning the mattress and then drying it with my hairdryer.

Needless to say, we have now invested in a waterproof mattress protector - just in case our desires take us in that direction in the future. Personally, I think if it's going to be used in a D/s way, the jet really needs to go somewhere much more debasing than my belly and I'm not sure I'm quite ready to be that demeaned.

Having recounted a much shorter version of this story in the comments box on Marcelle's piece, I pressed the submit button and was faced with the word verification screen.

I kid you not, the required letters were:


Is it me or does everyone else hate having to type in those sets of letters to verify my existence?

On some other blogs there is a simple maths problem like 3+65 to which you have to supply the answer. It's not Countdown, but I far prefer to do that than type in interminable combinations of vowels and consonants. Except when I misunderstand the instructions and get the answer wrong. The resulting message of disappointment at the failure of my mathematical skills can be most depressing.


six said...

Those little tests of our humanity are called "CAPCHAs" and they certainly are annoying. They prod at the fringes of our mental capacity, delving into deciphering if that certain character is a capital "G" or if it is a "6." Tough to say, with a squiggly line running through squiggly text.

In any case, back to my main point, the little tests of our humanity, I find, are a hurdle in leaving a little message full of our humanity.


Ro said...

I can't say golden showers are something that have ever captured my imagination - except to make me wonder why others might find it particularly stimulating.

Some areas of the D/s world appeal, I will admit, but I have no desire to demean a woman to that extent or to be demeaned in such a way.

However, should I ever find myself venturing down that road I shall bear in mind the lesson you learned - I've had enough experience of the paternal responsibilities for the tasks following childhood nocturnal incontinence not to want to relive them!

bittersweet said...

I enjoyed the image of you chasing away an encroaching sea of pee.

i am still (wimpily) considering my interest in the golden shower - being compelled to pee *in front* of him triggers something powerful in my head (but, in light of your experience, perhaps i'll use the bath).

Gorilla Bananas said...

I do hope the sight of your lover doing No.1 won't change things between you. I hate those letters. You and I are comrades who blog without protection.

Anonymous said...

Next time, try it outside in the grass ;)

Brian said...

Next time, try the bath!

Hope all is well.


Vi said...

I think I would save that 'experience' for the bathroom. Not as bad as the fetish I posted about last night!

having my cake said...

Six - CAPCHAs huh? I expect I can think of a few other more choice acronyms!

Ro - Glad to be of service and able to offer an analogy that most people can understand :)

Me - Ruf is a great believer in sharing all bodily functions. This was really just an extension of that I guess. And his relaxed attitude to those matters has made me far less uptight about a lot of other things.

GB - Blogging without protection LMAO. I rather like the thought of those little CAPCHAs as the blog equivalent of a condom.

Anon - Well I suppose that's one way of approaching it.

Brian - The problem with the bath is that you then have to sit there covered in ammonia as the bath fills up. And Ruf's bath has such low pressure that it takes forever!

Vi - You're right. No one is making me do that!

Ultra Toast Mosha God said...

What a lovely story!

I have never understood this deisre. I guess the sensation can be achieved with a slight modification one's shower unit.

Is the point to immerse oneself in the the total submissiveness this practice demands?

having my cake said...

Ultra Toasty - Hello. I wish I understood the reasoning behind the Golden Shower. I guess Im not totally cut out to be a proper sub quite yet :)

Z said...

I'm told in the bath is best. And no, doesn't appeal in the slightest.

I hatehatehate those bloody word verification things. Apparently I'm dyslexic when it comes to letters that don't make up a proper word (I can never remember acronyms, either), and the number ones are just humiliating (I am seriously number-impaired, plus I can't count).

having my cake said...

Z - I quite enjoy maths but some of them have had me stumped. Mainly because Ive just not understood the language used. If they use the symbols, Im fine.

Anonymous said...

You know, I've gone without word verification or moderation almost since the beginning of my blogging existence, and have almost no spam in my comment boxes... the occasional one that I just delete. I guess if it became a problem, I'd have to reconsider, but until then... I just hate those damned letters.

I'm open to the idea of golden showers, but more out of principle (i.e. being open to all/most ideas) than any desire for it. I don't really get it, either.