Tuesday, 10 February 2009

Industrial Pleasures - the Hitachi Wand

The Hitachi Wand is a multifunctional megabeast that straddles the twin worlds of sex toy and muscle massager like a behemoth. Not for nothing was it chosen by Samantha in that famous episode of Sex and the City 'Critical Condition'.

With thanks to erinmak for this synopsis:

Carrie bribes Samantha into helping Miranda out with the baby. Samantha very reluctantly agrees and gives up her fabulous hair appointment that was impossible to get to let Miranda take her place on the spur of the moment. Miranda's icy neighbor has taken pity and stopped by with a vibrating chair that calms Brady down. She's amazed that Miranda doesn't know about this wonder-chair, but Miranda explains that none of her friends have babies. Miranda admonishes Samantha not to take Brady out of the chair, but when the chair breaks (or runs out of batteries or something), she's at a loss. She then remembers her earlier trip to The Sharper Image, where she tried to exchange her broken vibrator. (She had an argument with the salesman who insisted that it was a neck massager - "The Sharper Image does not sell vibrators." In the end she got a replacement "neck massager.") So she puts the "neck massager" in the chair with Brady, who's as happy as a clam

As this demonstrates, the thing about the Hitachi is that it has enough power to be both an effective muscle massager AND a very satisfying sex toy.

After all, as Samantha says about a different 'neck massager' in the same episode: 'That one actually works against you. If we wanted to work that hard we'd find ourselves a man, am I right?'

I read recently that the older woman requires more stimulation than her younger sisters and so it's been on my list of things to try for some time. When the lovely Rick at Vibrator Toys sent me one to review, I was very excited.

But this was somewhat short lived because, on plugging it in, the thing in my hands became absolutely terrifying. I was certainly of the opinion that if I put that between my legs, I was likely to fry my most delicately sensitive bits... and that was on the 'Low' setting. This was like the industrial catering version of any of my kitchen implements when it came to power comparison.

But then my tulip gave up the ghost and, needs must, I turned to the Hitachi. At first, outside of my clothes. So, whilst I was straddling Ruf's back and using it as a massage tool, I discovered that it was actually very pleasant to press my most intimate parts against the vibrating bulb as it did its work on his tense musculature. I could feel the powerful buzz transmitting itself through my flesh to my g-spot with the most pleasant results.

Since then I have used it against my clit through my pants and I can pretty much guarantee an orgasm within a minute. It's so powerful that even though it doesnt actually press directly against the clitoris in the way that my toothbrush/tingle tip would, that doesn't matter. It vibrates the whole area so vigorously that all the important points, both internally and externally, are somehow activated.

There are a couple of downsides in that it is a bit cumbersome because of its size and the electric flex plus adaptor. It is also pretty noisy - but then most neck massagers of this power would be in order to be effective.

In a conversation with Marianne, we were trying to work out if one should even attempt to insert the implement but, fearing some form of vaginal scrape as a result, I decided to consult an expert. When I first wrote on my Joanna Cake Facebook page that I was awaiting my Hitachi, Curvaceous Dee made a very excited comment extolling its virtues. By chance, she happened to be online so I was able to get chapter and verse about the Hitachi attachments for extending its pleasure capacity.

Another exchange with Rick, and I chose the G-Plus attachment to go with it.

I am pleased to report that this really sorted me out, although it reminded me of Gonzo from the Muppets. It was made of a material called TPE which is non-porous and so can be cleaned with hot water and anti-bacterial soap to prevent the spread of bacteria. Suffering from recurring cystitis, this is very important to me. It also contains no phthalates or latex which is also imperative.

It has two floppy sort of beaks. One for the clit and one for insertion. The fabulous effect of the material is that the intensity of the vibration is diffused so there is not so much friction against the clitoris as I would have imagined and the part that is inside you is responsible for the most divine sensations.

My only complaint would be that the insertion piece could be slightly longer and perhaps a fraction stiffer for the best results.

Since its first use, it has been responsible for a number of most unladylike fantasies... hopefully, I shall be able to tell you the tales of their fruition over the next couple of months.

All in all, it is a beast, but a very reliable one. Whether you want it to release the tension in a sore muscle or your frustrated genitals, the Hitachi Wand is guaranteed to do the job toute de suite.

Anyone looking for ideas for Valentine's Day...? It's not the most romantic of gifts, but it sure covers a lot of bases.


Gorilla Bananas said...

...and it will always respect you in the morning.

BenefitScroungingScum said...

Great review thank you! I've been wondering about the wand, but like you the almost industrial nature of it puts me off. BG x

southerngirl said...

It certainly has a massive reputation...thanks for the review.

Southern Sage said...

What could possibly be more romantic?

Trixie said...

Well, it least if it's discovered by the kids (or parents!) you and definitely SAY it's a massager...dunno if you could get away with that with the adaptor on!

nitebyrd said...

I absolutely adore my Hitachi! Being one of those women that needs direct and aggressive clitoral stimulation for orgasm, this "vibrator" is perfect for me. Haven't tried the attachments though. I just might have to check that "Gonzo" one out! LOL

Thanks, Cake.

O said...

Great review! More people should give sex toys as gifts...

BigBen said...

I'm jealous of all those cools toys you gals have these days ...

Southern Swinger said...

I think all the female members of our swinging group had the Hatachi Wand. To keep them from getting mixed up each had her name on their "personal friend" SW says it is powerful and at first was a little too much but now she has two. one for home and one for the boat. She even gave them a name "Bubba" We did a post on the Hatachi several months back.

Anonymous said...

The wand is great, but does not hold up. The springs always break in a few months.

Joanna Cake said...

Hi Anonymous

Thanks for sharing that. Clearly a toy that gets a lot of use :) Mine has held up so far but I am happier with its little sister, The Fairy Wand - see my post.

I am about to test drive a model that is available in the UK. The review will appear on my new site at