Tuesday, 16 June 2009


Most relationships seem so transitory
They're all good but not the permanent one
Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told

Natasha Bedingfield

The lyrics made me think back to that moment. Two years ago now. My blog was only a few weeks old and Ruf was intrigued by it.

I was lying in his bed... our bed... warm and soft in the glow of our earlier lovemaking. Ruf had got up to make tea and it had gone quiet so I knew he was on the computer. After about 10 minutes, I heard his footsteps and the door flew open.

He had that look on his face. The one that brooks no argument. The expression that says I'm about to get it big time.

He shrugged his dressing gown to the floor, flung back the duvet and climbed in, announcing: 'I'm going to fuck you'

And he did.

He gave me every part of himself, keeping nothing back as I held him and loved him in return. Revelling in his strength, his enthusiasm and his determination to take me to the peak of my pleasure.

It was the first time that I had exposed that part of our life to the world and been there when he'd read it.

Watched the effect of my words on a male psyche and been available to receive the benefits.

Finger Fucking Friday.

This is the man who has helped me get myself back. The adult that should have developed and grown if she had not become a stunted teenager through the rigours of modern life.

When I first met him, he promised that he would help my mind to 'sing' and, to achieve this, he has learned to play my body like the most accomplished of musicians, whilst making me feel so beautiful and sexy that I cannot help but love myself.

For what more could a woman ask?

It doesn't matter that he is totally different to any man that I have been with or imagined myself with. Completely out of sync with everything that my life has been in the past.

And yet, three years on, I still find him as compelling as I did that first day. Sure, we have our moments where we irritate the hell out of each other because of our differences but, mostly, we just want to rip each other's clothes off or snuggle up together, revelling in the touching of our naked skin.

Is he my soulmate? Is there really such a thing? That word conjures up images of people who agree about everything but could it be that opposites complement each other to make a whole.

Whatever happens in the future, I believe that our friendship will endure for a lifetime.


Scarlet-Blue said...

Ahhh.. that is lovely. You give me hope.

Loving Annie said...

Sounds like a soulmate to me...

Ms Scarlett said...

Love, Love, LOVE this post.

"...making me feel so beautiful and sexy that I cannot help but love myself.

For what more could a woman ask?"

*That* sounds like soulmate material to me...

Gorilla Bananas said...

You used the word "friendship". That's a very good sign.