Thursday, 20 August 2009

HNT: Ironing

Cleaning and ironing are the times when I think. Mull over what is troubling me. Sometimes, I deliberately hoover and wash floors to get rid of any adverse tension.

Ironing is sometimes the chore that gives the most difficult time mentally. I cannot throw it around and vent, as I would the hoover, or scrub vigorously to cleanse the unhappy memories. And yet, I have always found it to be very therapeutic, regularly standing for two or three hours in front of a film to clear a huge pile without giving it a thought.

These days, however, it causes me a few uncertain moments because I could just give the shirts a cursory once over to get rid of the worst of the wrinkles but I still apply to each one the care and attention that I always have, inhaling the delicate residue of his cologne and smiling sadly.

This is when I realise that I still care about the father of my children. My husband in name. That little flutter around my heart that remembers how much I once loved him and wanted the best for him.

To me, when you care about someone, you do things for them, you look after them, their physical wellbeing, their day to day life, try to help them and make life easier for them. Nurturing and cossetting. These have always been my watchwords when it came to love.

Part of me wishes that I could eradicate this feeling as I move onto the next difficult sleeve.

But I can't. The truth is that, no matter how cold he has been to me emotionally in return, he has still kept me warm, fed and financially safe for the last three decades. Perhaps I look upon him almost as a father figure and am grateful.

Or maybe it's just that a small part of me will always love him and, therefore, want to look after him.


And this photo really made me laugh because the perspective is very strange. As I'm sitting as tall as I can in lotus position, it looks like someone else's disembodied hands are curving around from behind me trying to grab my boobs but the iron box gets in the way.



HNTbutton

Picture courtesy of: http://www.garmentcare.info/img/articles/iron_ironing_board_shirts.jpg

13 comments:

Polar said...

Very Sexy, My Friend!

Yes, it is true, that you have been treated coldly. I commend you for seeing that the time and bonding cannot be thrown out like the trash. That is a lesson We All need to take away with.
Our relationships should never be treated as trivial. The slightest action to another can have Far reaching effects. Further than we EVER can know.

Thank you My Friend, for Sharing!

nitebyrd said...

Cake, only you could make an iron and the chore of ironing both wistful and sexy! You'll iron all the wrinkles out in time, I'm sure.

Happy HNT!

southerngirl said...

Sometimes baby, we just have to laugh to keep from collapsing. I also believe once you fold sometime into the depths of your heart, it is hard to remove them.

xo

13messages said...

A wonderful photo and accompanying sentiment. I do dishes for my thinking about things.

Nolens Volens said...

I love ironing...allows me to truly fuss over myself. Otherwise, I'd just slap the clothes on and go. ;) HHNT!

Wayward Wife said...

I don't think love like that ever really goes away.... at least not for me. When relationships/marriages end, I always still hold a little bit (or a lot) of love for that person in a dark corner of my heart.

Fat Controller said...

Your HNT posts are always so bittersweet that it is difficult to know what to say without sounding facetious.

What the hell...you're looking good!

Osbasso said...

Such a long neck!

As you said, three decades of being together aren't just going to totally disappear. It would be truly sad if they did. But it doesn't mean you have to wallow in it!

And you did everything right in my comments. Worked just fine!

the eternal list said...

very creative pics, and about ironing out your love matters, love isn't something you can always underestimate, control, or predict

Mr. Nighttime said...

You know, for a moment I thought those were Ruf's hands, and I thought, "What a great effect."

Memories don't ever truly die. They get packaged, and put away in corners of our brains, a sort of mental self-storage. it's incredible how sometimes the most mundane of things can bring them exploding back to the forefront of consciousness.

Amorous Rocker said...

Sexy picture!

I like cleaning. I either do a lot of thinking or I completely zone out and just focus on the motions of what I'm doing.

Happy HNT.

Ms Scarlett said...

Great pic!
I respect and admire greatly your strength and resiliency - I know you will come through ok!

HHNT!

Ro said...

I have a love-hate relationship with ironing, but as it's always my own things I'm ironing it's a rather different task!

As for the lingering love, that's the way it goes. I've known few people who have been able to move out of a relationship, especially a long-term one, and immediately forget the one-time Significant Other.

It may be you'll never shake these feelings completely. They should become less troubling over time, though, as they sink into the background, until you can occasionally take them out and look at them and simply smile at what once was.

There's nothing wrong with you for still having these feelings though; in fact, the few people I mentioned who didn't have lingering feelings were some of the coldest people I have ever known :-)