Thursday, 3 December 2009

HNT: December

Well, it is December!

Advent calendars were purchased weeks ago and the little windows are now being opened with their chocolate contents munched happily before breakfast. Holly wreaths are appearing in doorways and lights festoon many of the houses locally, so it's traditional for me to start to get all our own festive trimmings out.

Of course, all these familiar preparations bring home to me the enormity of what I have done. Something so simple as not being there in the morning to see my own family with the calendars that I bought in the same way that I would any previous year and left in their place for the first day of December.

There are decisions to be made over how to sign the Christmas cards and which, if any, of the decorations I want to take to my flat.

I am fortunate in that we have not spent Christmas at home for some years so, as usual, on Christmas Eve, we will travel up to stay with family. At least this means that I do not have to face the prospect of waking up on Christmas morning without my children.

I was chatting with a group of women recently and they were discussing a male of their acquaintance who has had to beg to be allowed to spend a couple of hours with his own offspring on Christmas Day. He has negotiated permission to visit the house between 10.30 and 12 but he will not be allowed to stay for lunch. It seems so cold and clinical and is not something that I can imagine either my ex or myself ever doing to the other. I hope that we can continue to provide joint care for them that does not preclude either parent on such occasions.

For non-mousers, click here



13messages said...

That kind of custody and visitation talk breaks my heart. My best to him.

As always, I love seeing pics of you. You're beautiful.

Sexy Sixty said...

Love that HNT mouse-over.

Been there/done that regarding the issues of holiday visitation. Fortunately my kids are grown now and most of those issues have taken care of themselves.

Fat Controller said...

As Sexy Sixty says, the children eventually get to an age where they're doing their own thing at Christmas anyway but inevitably there is a sense of something being lost. On the positive side, maybe you are now free to initiate some new Christmas tradition of your own.

Anonymous said...

I detest how petty and punitive some people can be in these situations - and the children are hurt so much by that sort of ugliness.

I am glad yo are sharing these observations with us, keep you heart open and things will be fine.

Beautiful pic baby!


Walker said...

Its to bad parents can separate without any animosity but some people are bent on hurting the other they don't see what they are doing to their own kids by doing it.
They are molding this animosity in their kids for the future to look back on.
As much as I dislike my ex I expect and demand the girls to call her up weekly.

Vixen said...

Pretty. Love the stockings with it. :)

TROLL Y2K said...

Very nice inviting picture!

Anonymous said...

I just love your advent calendar. Which day of Christmas is that? Sigh.

As for the rest of it, I am generally glad when it's all over.

Jackie Adshead said...

Mmm... Christmas and all it entails just seems to be stressful one way or another. Family politics are bad enough but ex-family politics must be far worse!