Saturday 15 December 2007

In-Car Entertainment - EastEnders vs Cake


A television programme on C4 recently revived some wonderful memories of my first sex with Ruf outside of his bedroom.

In 1994, the actress Gillian Taylforth (otherwise known as the sainted Kathy Beale from the soap opera EastEnders) sued The Sun for libel. The newspaper had claimed she performed oral sex on her fiancĂ© in a car parked on a sliproad to the A1 near London. When a police officer appeared at the car window, Ms Taylforth had explained that there was nothing untoward happening and she was merely providing her fiancĂ© with “abdominal relief” for an acute attack of pancreatitis.

During the libel trial, the entire court moved out to the car park to watch reconstructions of the alleged sexual act in the front of a Range Rover - once with the central characters showing the impossibility of such an action and then one with two members of the press corps, proving that, if you remove the seatbelt, you provide the headroom - so to speak. The programme I watched seemed to particularly enjoy this part of the proceedings, using looky-likeys for the actors. They also focussed on the rather enthusiastic press corps reconstruction.

In her testimony to the Court, Miss Taylforth presented herself as a sexually reserved character. But, whilst the trial was in progress, a film was sent to the newspaper’s advocate showing her at a party simulating masturbation with a wine bottle and using a sausage as a prop whilst boasting “I give very good head.” The film was shown as evidence midway through the trial and she lost her case.

Over a decade later in a rather less suburban setting, I pulled my Range Rover into a layby just off a major road in deepest Essex. We were supposed to be going to train and then to a friend's holiday flat but I had decided upon a small detour first.

However, when I had planned the whole event, I had not taken into account the fact that the previous weekend, the clocks would be put forward by one hour, thereby bringing full daylight into the equation. I had driven past this layby several times a week in the Winter. It was about 20 feet away from the main carriageway and, in darkness, would have provided perfect cover... but was just a little exposed for my liking in the actuality.

Ruf, of course, was having none of my reticence. It was very early in our liaison - probably only about the third or fourth time we had met with a view to getting physical - and we had not seen each other for several weeks. I had picked him up from the station in brilliant sunshine.

It had been a gloriously warm Spring day. Love and sex were in the air and, almost from the moment I kissed him on the cheek, I could see the protuberance in his jeans as he sat next to me in the passenger seat. To be honest, I was not any less excited at his presence, but the concern of the daylight factor was a slight dampener on proceedings.

I pulled over, engaged the handbrake and switched off the engine, supremely conscious of the roar of the traffic as it thundered past my right shoulder only a few yards away.

Whilst I was still detained by my seatbelt, he leaned over and kissed me and I was aware of the anxieties falling away, even as the car windows began to steam up.

Pushing him backwards, I reached forward and undid his jeans, slipped the object of my desire out of his boxers and, without undoing the restraint of my seatbelt, reached over the central console and licked him. Sensing my restriction, he pressed the little red button and released me. I could feel the fabric slowly easing its way back into its unused position, freeing my arms and my torso to move as they wished.

Keeping my head below the level of the windows to avoid detection by the outside world, licking and sucking and feasting on him as he lifted up my vest top and played with my pointed nipples. I became aware of the dampness in the air: the heat of our bodies, the wetness of our excited breath moistening the atmosphere, obscuring the windscreen, until it must have been obvious to any passing driver what was occurring within. I opened the passenger window and this started to alleviate the problem and lessen what to me seemed like the equivalent of a huge red arrow pointing at my car, advertising 'Oral Sex Happening Here!'

By this time, it was at least starting to get dark. The sky was streaked with the beautiful pinks and golds of a spring sunset, slowly darkening to the soft glow of dusk and the cover we desired. Climbing across the central console onto his lap as he reclined the passenger seat and lifting his tshirt to stroke the hairy chest underneath. Sitting proud and as tall as a small woman can whilst he admired the view. The approaching cars were switching on their headlamps which lit my half-naked body and then turned it red as their rearlights disappeared into the distance.

I could feel him pulling down my elasticated training bottoms, caressing the soft white globes of my fabulous arse as he reached up and captured my mouth, dismissing the last of my resistance. The fear, the excitement, the desire, the lust, the joy at seeing him again after such a long time. It was all jumbled up in one big explosion of emotion and I no longer cared about policemen or motorists, there was only one place that this could end but I couldn't ride him properly at that angle. I couldn't get the proper purchase.

Twisting myself around to face away from him, I slid my feet down the sides of his thighs and my sopping pussy backwards, which is when he shoved his thumb up my arse and penetrated me with two fingers. Jerking with delighted surprise, I came almost immediately, sticky and wet around his digits, riding his jabbing hand for another until he inserted his rigid member into the excited mess. Forcing me to place my hands on the dashboard to contain my forward motion, I introduced myself to a sort of reverse cowgirl, pressing onto him as he drove upwards. His hands were on my breasts, pulling me backwards into him as he thrust forwards, the rhythm gaining pace, faster and faster. And that's when it started. The shrill scream of my fulfilment, muffled at first and then increasing in volume until it was echoing around the enclosed cubicle of the car. My forehead beating a tattoo against the misted windshield with every thrust - bang bang bang interspersing the continuous yell of an orgasm that threatened never to end... until he pumped his muck inside me, shivering and shaking as he held onto me.

Did we go and train? Well, what do you think?

We went straight to the loaned flat. We had far better things to do...


Karen said...

We must be on the same wavelength today Cake? I just wrote a post asking readers to tell me the most outrageous place they have ever had sex or the most dangerous. Hopefully someone will be brave enough to fess up. Very hot post btw but I would expect nothing less....:)

Guilty Secret said...

Wow, I never knew that about Gillian Taylforth... although I was only ten in 1994!

Very hot post ;)

Upset Waitress said...

Sweeet!!! You are a very vivid filthy writer cake. You don't even need pics. I liked it alot.

Ronjazz said...

Hot, fucking HOT, my little Cake cowgirl... Now... get yourself off while DRIVING...there's a thrill!

nitebyrd said...

Very, very erotic, Cake!

Jenny said...

Pretty good writing when Upset Waitress doesn't need pictures!

As always, nicely written.

Midnight said...

That was better than an episode of Top Gear! I think you are the driving or is that riding champion of 2007.

Anonymous said...

I love your writing Ms Cake- You are wonderfully descriptive and are one of the very special bloggers who manage to write about both the sublime and crushing sides to life... Please keep it up!

P.S. Any chance you could make an RSS feed of Having My Cake?

Walker said...

Some vehicles cum with two stick shifts :)

Vi said...

ooohhh, that was horny! I remember the time I did it in the car with my ex husb, when we started dating. No WAY was it as hot as that!

Fire Byrd said...

I remember giving a man a blow job, in the middle of the most amazing thunder storm, with his car parked up just at the side of the road. It was a great experience. Come to think of it I've given a great many blow jobs in cars, some in broad daylight, in the last few years. But then that's having relationships with married men for you!

George said...

Cake, the proper way to perform oral sex on a guy in a car is while you're doing 100 - 120 kph, middle of the afternoon on a major highway.

Joanna Cake said...

Gypsy - I have fessed up - twice :)

GS - I was considerably older than ten and felt very sorry for her.

UW -Why thank you x

Ron - It is one big SUV. I need both hands on the wheel to control the beast!

Nitebyrd/AB - Thank you x

Middy - Ooooh, does this mean I get to ravage the Hamster when he's driving a Ferrari... or, better still, The Stig :)

Monky - Hello and Thank you. Im afraid Im a bit of a technophobe but if you would care to email me with instructions, I will try to comply with your RSS suggestion...

Walker - The stickshift on this particular car is pretty wide. Snag yourself on that one and you'd know all about it :)

Vi - You're supposed to be on holiday enjoying yourself, not trawling through Blogland! Hope you're having a great time. Merry Xmas x

Pixie - I dont think Im brave enough to do it in a thunderstorm. My jaw needs to be relaxed not tense :)

george - I apologise for this huge transgression of the Highway Code. What's that in mph? Im not sure I can persuade Ruf to let me do that whilst Im driving. He thinks Im scary enough as it is and would probably prefer it if I was looking where we were going :)

Freddy said...

You think giving a BJ is tricky in a car?
You should try being a man and getting yourself into a position to be able to reciprocate!!!
It's no wonder I get the occasional stiff neck. Worth it though :-)

70 mph = 112 kph, been there, done that (received not delivered - S closes her eyes when she gets close to orgasm...)

Bittersweet said...

great dirty stuff, Cake

I have made good use of cars in the past but never when in the driving seat, and moving. George/Freddy/Ron - i am shocked ....

Cyril said...

superbly written. quite a memory too!
thanks for visiting.

2 Dollar Productions said...

You just made me re-consider my postion on sex in a car - that being that it's usually more trouble than it's worth. Obviously not all the time.

BenefitScroungingScum said...

I love that desperate, urgent start of a relationship sex, but as usual you write about it in such a hot way, especially as where I live we all came of age having lots of sex in cars, just not that steamy!

Mr. DNA said...


: )

Fat Controller said...

Whenever I see the Taylforth case mentioned I recall an episode that happened on the old A31 by Winchester: A woman passenger was giving the driver of a car a bj while he was driving. He was so distracted that he rear ended the car in front which had stopped at the notorious Hockley traffic lights. Fortunately it was at low speed so nobody was injured but the steering wheel was forced down over the woman's head, trapping it in her companion's lap until the fire brigade could release her. There's a lesson there!

Joanna Cake said...

Freddy - With my little legs, I need the seat close to the steering wheel so I can reach the pedals. There would be no room for a man in my footwell!

BS - Im glad I wasnt the only one who was shocked at their antics!

Cyris - Thank you.

2$ - Well, we haven't repeated the procedure but it is an extremely fond memory.

BG - I have to admit that this was not the first time I had had sex in a car but it was certainly the most memorable.

Mr DNA - Sorry... I'd try to involve cheese in my next story, especially for you but it will have to be vegan cheese...?

FC - LMAO. A lesson to us all methinks. *Hopes George, Freddy and Ron are paying attention*