Saturday, 31 January 2009

When does fucking become making love?

Fleshbotted



I started to write this piece in January of last year.

I had asked Ruf how he felt about it being the second anniversary of the day we first made love and his reply certainly brought me up short:

'But we didn't make love, we fucked!'

And he's right. For the first few months, that is absolutely what it was. Even though when he texted me he would sign off with 'Love you', he didn't, not really. Not in the true sense of the word. We fucked, pure and simple. Rough, animal, primal sex in ever changing positions and scenarios, pounding each other to satisfy an immediate urge.

I can remember the first time that things changed. He announced that he was going to make love to me and the sex was slow and gentle. It felt as if he made me a part of him. He kept whispering how much he loved me in my ear, against my neck, his lips moving the words on mine. Our bodies were so tightly melded together, belly to belly, thigh to thigh as my legs wrapped around his and drew him ever closer. My orgasm was quiet and soft, but so fulfilling.

The reason I remember it so clearly is that, an hour later, he took me by the hand and led me to the sofa. There was something he needed to tell me. It was a confession that resulted in big fat tears rolling down my cheeks and the sudden realisation that I could lose this.

It was a few months in... and we had hit a blip.

After a distressing exchange, we retired back to bed. Not for sex, but to try to begin working through the difficulty in that naked haven where there was nowhere to hide and we both felt totally at ease.

Three years on, we seem to copulate in a variety of ways. Sometimes we fuck furiously, sometimes we experiment and sometimes we gently make love to each other and there is a definite difference. The fucking is wild and abandoned, rough and rampant, as opposed to the communicative camaraderie of experimentation or the lovemaking, gentle and controlled as we surround ourselves with each other's flesh and extract one another's orgasm with the intensity of our feelings.

But at the foundation of each is a mutual celebration of this amazing connection that grew between us.

A few weeks ago, I found this over at Z's The Naked Truth. I think it explains rather better what I was trying to say.

You can say it’s making love, because it’s silent and intense and trailed with kisses. You can say it’s making love because it’s focused and intent and imbued with tenderness. But you can’t say it’s not fucking when my hips rise to meet his, and you can’t say that the fuck of before or the savage selfishness of the one next morning are more loveless or less loveful or that any of them outpace the others in an animal slaking of lust and desire. You can’t quantify it by the frenzy or lack of it, but only by the connection, and that is as likely to be found in the white heat of desperate fucking as it is in the sensuous warmth of the slow dark. It’s just a different dance to a different tune, but the band is still the same.

20 comments:

southerngirl said...

It is all about connection. Thank you for this piece.

scarlet-blue said...

You are so sweet Ms Cakes.
Sx

Just me... said...

Perfectly defined...
:)

Dark Side said...

There is as you say most definitely a difference, very well put...x

justme said...

The trouble comes when one of you is making love, and the other one is just fucking! So glad you two are so in tune. x

justme said...

EEK! just noticed there is another Justme.....except she is just me....how strange! Welll.....you know which is ....just...ME!

Just me... said...

Oh, lord!! Do you think the world stand two of "Just Me's!?!?! :):):)

justme said...

Ummm....probably not??

Southern Swinger said...

We are back from a long absence from the blog world. What a wonderful piece to start with. I have been catching up on your life since we signed off and will catch you up with us later. At first glance it appears your life is much fuller now than it was a couple years ago.

Polar said...

Bravo, my Friend

having my cake said...

SG - YW

Miss Scarlet - Im not sure sweet is the word :P

Just me/justme - OMG!!! LMAO

Southern Swinger - So glad to have you back fit and well. I wondered what had happened to you. Mrs Cake has begun to blossom :)

Polar - Thank you my trusty knight x

nitebyrd said...

That does sum it up very well. It's the mutual connection that makes the difference.

O said...

I just had this very conversation with someone, pointing out that sometimes fucking IS making love....though as justme says, "The trouble comes when one of you is making love, and the other one is just fucking!"

Thank you for a thought-provoking post.

Fat Controller said...

There are surely few problems that can't be resolved by getting naked together.

Z said...

Wild animal fucking AND a little tenderness - you can't beat it :)

Velvet Touch said...

I loved this writing, thank you for putting into words the thoughts my lover and I have stumbled around for a long time. The experience and transition from fucking to making love is amazing. Dont get me wrong, both are great but discovering the capacity for both is a changing moment in a relationship.

Anonymous said...

Making Love in finest animal magneticism....

when you enter the spot.....

the kittys smile and so does the women....

then the women go to the bathroom and
sit down with a tickle tickle and tinkle tinkle.....

The spot was definitely love making and the kitty always feels good and preserved.....

but the inner magic of sensation warmed all the tissue of the man and woman making love....

in that gaping tube never goes wrong....

while creating kids all the time....

never the kitty so the women can stay smiling of her prized jewels....

secrets of estrogenic magic...
but keeps women raging like animals in making fine love and procreating in endless bliss....

A feminine lady is well cushed in this position and procreation is highest rate while the ovaries smile in iso going marvelous with electroded electricity....

mmmmmmmmm creamy sex after I am done I am having a glass of warm milk and eating cookies or smores sitting in a blanket near a fire,etc....

so is a so: man....

Anonymous said...

the spot.....

Anonymous said...

never the g- spot on a woman....

and the triangle is preserved.....

Anonymous said...

Making love or fucking. Whatever you call it, you're bloody lucky you're getting it!

Wait 'til you marry and have kids (assuming both don't apply to you right now... it's late and haven't got time to scour your blog... sorry!). You won't get "it" at all. I think in the last 10 years or so I can count the number of fucks, shags or lovemaking sessions (whatever!) to less than 30 or 40. That's an average of about 4 per year!!!

Fuck marriage... men should concentrate on getting laid and doing their "thing".

Oh, and yes... I am fucking bitter that I didn't marry a nympho!!!!