Friday, 30 October 2009

UnderRated: Fucking the Mind

I have only just begun to discover exactly how many different types of orgasm can be achieved in a relationship where there is such a huge level of respect, love and enthusiasm.

Clitoral, vaginal, Gspot... all in varying degrees and forms of intensity and connection. And, with my impending Menopause, I have learned to appreciate all of them so much more deeply, because they are so much harder to obtain than once they were. The physical stimulation required is so much greater.

But now I recognise that the most stunning has to be the Mind orgasm.

When I was less appreciative, I'm not sure I was truly aware of the full intensity of this beautiful thing. It was always a precursor to something bigger and flashier, so it sort of got lost along the way, because it involved less energy from all parties and, therefore, seemed less significant.

The body is held together with a layer of tissue called the fascia. If you look in anatomy books, they tend to strip this away to show all the muscles individually beneath. But the fascia is vitally important. It wraps around and interconnects with everything forming a huge sheath that keeps everything in place. If you pull on it in one area, there is an effect somewhere else. Almost the same as if you tug on a carrier bag, you can see the contents shifting in response.

There is an exercise that involves lying on your back and then twisting one leg over the other which pushes you half onto your side. In tests on cadavers, this position has been shown to produce a massaging effect on the brain. It is certainly a very relaxing and pleasurable posture, presumably because it encourages the release of endorphins.

Sometimes when Ruf and I make love, this is what it feels like. As if the continual gentle friction of his penetration and withdrawal stimulates the fascia to contract against my brain and the subsequent overwhelming feeling of peaceful bliss is too difficult and wonderful for words to adequately describe.

I guess part of it is because we are truly making love. Kissing and stroking. Caressing and cuddling. Naked skin and hair, smooth and rustling against each other. No part of one untouched by the other, I can feel his genuine care for me wrapping me up, just as surely as his arms enfold me. His words whispering verbal affirmations as he slides in and out of me over and over again until there is no denying that I am almost floating on the depth of his appreciative desire.

The mutual connection and energy being exuded overlapping and encasing us. I can hear myself moaning softly. Not for this the frantic, strident shrieks of a physical explosion, but a gentle gasping as the pressure builds inside my head and then melts through my body, warm and satisfying.

Totally secure in the knowledge that I have been thoroughly loved.


Thursday, 29 October 2009

HNT: Hallowe'en

This was not my original Hallowe'en picture choice but, when I saw that pumpkin, I just knew what had to be achieved.

Thanks to my camera's self-timer, a very dextrous Ruf and Photobucket to filter out the extraneous distractions, this year's Hallowe'en HNT was sorted in a few minutes.

I'm not an enthusiastic trick or treater because I don't really enjoy candy, but I do like dressing up for the Hallowe'en parties. I'm thinking a bit of Underworld, this year.

For non-mousers, click here


Tuesday, 27 October 2009

Cervical Smears

Just to remind you, October is Cancer Awareness Month.

As part of the rebuilding of Joanna Cake, I decided to get my physical health checked up, as well as continuing to work on my mental attitude with the Counsellor.

I booked my cervical smear. It is three years since my last one and, in that time, Ruf's semen has been spurted against my cervix on many occasions. According to Wikipaedia, a human papillomavirus (HPV) is a papillomavirus that infects the epidermis and mucous membranes of humans. HPV can lead to cancers of the cervix, vulva, vagina, and anus in women. In men, it can lead to cancers of the anus and penis. Carriers and sufferers can be asymptomatic and genital warts seems to be the only obvious sign of a problem but this does not occur in all cases.

We have to remember that cervical cancer is caused by only one or two types of the virus, hence the current decision in the UK to vaccinate young women aged between 13 and 18, even those who have already had sexual intercourse, in the hope that they have so far not been exposed to either strain.

There has been a great furore in the British press recently because a young girl died a few hours after being given the vaccine. It later transpired that she had other health problems which were actually the cause of her death, but a great deal of bad publicity was given to this unfortunate event, to the detriment of the cervical cancer vaccination programme.

From the fact that all my smear tests have been normal, clearly the father of my children was not a carrier and, whilst Ruf had a full sexual health check before we became physically involved, as far as I am aware, this virus is not something that they check for in men as part of that test. So, three years on, with no apparent symptoms, I had my PAP test and kept my fingers crossed.

In the past, my cervical smears were always done at round day 17 of my cycle - as late as possible in the time parameters so that ovulation could be sure to have occurred. Without the sticky residue that accompanies this, there were repeated callbacks because of insufficient cells on the slide. Of course, at my time of life, my periods are few and far between. I have had a blood test to check my FSH levels and been told that the chances of my ovulating are very small indeed due to the high level of the reading. However, the test parameters were for samples taken on day 3-5 of a cycle and this was not a quantifiable date when I hadn't had a day 1 for some months. I booked the smear and the following day my period decided to come back from its holidays, so I had to rearrange it all.

The much-publicised death of Jade Goody from cervical cancer at the age of 28 has also seen a huge increase in the take-up of tests offered to older women on the NHS and, therefore, the results are taking six weeks or more to come through because of the backlog.

However, what has become known as the 'Jade Goody effect' has also caused a lot of young woman under 25 to request a cervical smear but this is not currently available to them on the basis that statistics show the risk to these women is not so great as for those over 25, which seems very wrong since there are still women dying in their 20s as a result of this disease going undetected, Ms Goody being a very prominent example.

In the event, for me, the smear itself went smoothly and enough cells were collected to provide an adequate sample for testing, although I did not have another period for the next four months so could not have ovulated in the required timeframe.

Fortunately, after six weeks, the results came through clear, but they did advise me that there was candida present and so I was sent a prescription for a Canesten pessary.

I have not used the treatment because I have decided to investigate this invasion further. My repeated bouts of thrush and cystitis, combined with various other symptoms have led me to believe that I might have a yeast intolerance which is now leaching out through my intestines into other parts of my body. I have found a diet that precludes yeast and other fungi, plus their food source: sugar and processed wheat flour. I am also taking various herbal preparations to destroy the candida bacteria along with probiotics to restore the balance of good and bad within my gut.

More on this at a later date.

Monday, 26 October 2009

Mute Monday: Advertising


Saturday, 24 October 2009


I can't remember who purchased it - whether it was one of us or a moving-into-your first-home gift - but it appeared in our lives when we bought our first property together. 25 years ago.

Over the years, it survived the vicissitudes of being cared for by my less-than-green fingers where other plants keeled over and carked it left, right and centre. All it seemed to require was a bit of water now and again when one of us remembered. Yes, it went through some very difficult spells, hence the period where there were no leaves at all on the bottom two foot of the stem and just a couple of determined ones right near the top.

In so many ways, it mirrored our relationship and its ups and downs. The times when it seemed as if it would wither away and die and then the resurgence of new shoots coinciding with our procreation of a child or the purchase of a new toy.

The advent of the trogladyte phase of our teenagers using the room to watch television constantly meant that the room remained in a permanent half-dark with the blinds drawn. The Rubber Plant was starved of the light it needed to retain its hold on life.

When I noticed it this time, there was one small shoot right at the bottom. I watered and repotted but, putting it back into the same room, under the same conditions just perpetuated the original problem and, at the beginning of the year, it finally gave up the ghost.

Rather like our marriage.

Thursday, 22 October 2009

HNT: Bodies

All we've ever wanted
Is to look good naked
Hope that someone can take it
God save me rejection
From my reflection,
I want perfection

Robbie Williams 'Bodies'

As I reached down to put something in my bag, I heard it.

The group of young lads at the table behind me had obviously been there since the party started and were at that stage where they mutter to each other about the other guests in a stage whisper that is obvious to the more sober eavesdropper.

He nudged his mate and shrugged with his arm in my direction and repeated his first comment:

"If she was 20 years younger, I'd do her, wouldn't you?"

If I'd been quicker, I would have replied that I wouldn't have done either of them... now or 20 years ago.

But, instead, I just smiled to myself and took the remark in the spirit with which I think it was intended and enjoyed the compliment.

With apologies to my non-mousers for my senior moment. Click here.


Tuesday, 20 October 2009


'You have a hole in your heart that can only be filled by a pair of trousers. Face it, Myer, you are weak'

Edie Brit, Desperate Housewives

A woman who has to have a man on her arm.

Who has only been single for a few months of her life... and then it was because she was dumped.

A woman who views validation by a male as her whole raison d'etre so will settle for the most unsuitable model just to be part of a couple.

Who is desperate and needy.

Whose very existence must be sanctioned and deemed worthwhile by the approval of the opposite gender.

Like Susan Myer, we all need to learn to love being by ourselves.

And to appreciate our individuality for its own sake.

Monday, 19 October 2009

Mute Monday: Authors who fill my bookcase

For more on the Morland Dynasty books by Cynthia Harrod Eagles

For more on the many faces of Jean Plaidy


Sunday, 18 October 2009

Pleasurists #49

Pleasurists is a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #48? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #50? Submit it here before Sunday October 18th at 11:59pm PDT. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

Madame Editrix

Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

Editor’s Pick

  • Hydra by Carrie Ann

  • So it does what it’s supposed to do amazingly well.

    But it also does other things.

    Things like…

    Get you off.

    Put it on the bed. Straddle it. Turn it on. Grind.

    Note: I think Carrie Ann puts it best when she says “Ahhh. The perversion of yet another vanilla massager.” I’m delightedly covetous of this massager both for it’s marketed purpose and the wonderful perverted purpose it seems to fill so brilliantly. Highly amusing and wonderful review as well!

On to the reviews…



Anal Toys

Toys for Cocks

Lube, Massage Oil, Bath Stuff, & etc.


Adult Books

Adult Movies/Porn

Sex Furniture



Pleasurists adult product review round-up banner

Stephen Gately

I sigh sadly at the loss of the young man for whom I had to work out how to tell an eight year old that her first pop star crush had 'come out' that morning.

Although she was my oldest child and led a relatively sheltered life, her classmates all had older siblings who would have been discussing the event over the breakfast table, resulting in all sorts of playground gossip.

When she returned from school with her questions about the word 'gay', I told her that it was absolutely fine for her to like him and want to kiss him, but she had to accept that he would never want to marry her... and that seemed to be sufficient.

Stephen never seemed to receive much adverse publicity after that. Just a shy, quiet, friendly young man, with a ready smile, who wanted to get on with his life and sing and dance for the public. I enjoyed him on the ice dancing show, even though he wasn't very good. But he was personable and enthusiastic and tried hard.

It seems such a shame that, just as Boyzone were returning the public eye once more, his life has been cut tragically short. Inevitably, there was Press speculation about booze and drugs and the very dodgy jokes did the rounds by text and email but, in the end, it was just death by natural causes at a horribly young age.

RIP Stephen.

Friday, 16 October 2009

OverRated: The Power of Men

'If, after years of abuse, you fight back against your husband, make sure that you kill him. If you only injure him, then you cannot use provocation as a defence.'

From the BBC's 'Criminal Justice'

'My husband is allowed to hit me with a stick, providing it is no thicker than his thumb.'

From 'The Duchess'

The implications behind both of these statements have remained with me long after the exact words were forgotten.

Criminal Justice was an amazing piece of television. Shown over five consecutive nights, its central premise was of a woman who was repeatedly buggered against her will by the husband who had managed to achieve complete control over her life, whilst seeming to be doing it with her best interests at heart. To the outside world, the perfect caring husband but, to his wife, a cold-hearted monster who photographed her life to spot the smallest of differences in her behaviour and punished her for it.

The contrast between her deep shame at being subjected to the act itself and the way that many in the blogging world view anal intercourse as part of their normal sexual bag of tricks was quite striking.

I got Ruf to watch the final episode with me, after spending several minutes setting up what had gone before. I think it really brought home to him the enormity of the gift that I bestow upon him when I allow him to penetrate me through that orifice. That such an act is not part and parcel of normal sexual activity in many relationships. But also that it is just as much a rape if taken non-consensually.

The second statement was from the film, 'The Duchess', where Keira Knightley recreates the role of a forebear of Diana, Princess of Wales, in Lady Georgeanna Spencer, the Duchess of Devonshire. Beautifully filmed, with a fabulous cast of both personnel and settings, this was a delight to the eye, but a conundrum to the brain.

Yes, she led a pampered and moneyed life, but also a very sad one, married to a man twice her age who is incapable of emotional closeness with her. But worse, takes as his mistress her best friend and forces her to remain in a curious menage a trois in the same house whilst refusing to allow his wife the same freedom with her own lover.

The fact that he could evict her, stop her from seeing her children and close every society door in London to her aspiring politician lover if she did not toe the line that he proscribed was quite frightening and I think the whole 'stick' thing just exemplifies the power that men had over their wives during this period of history.

And yet, is it just confined to 'the olden days'? The husband in 'Criminal Justice' could behave with equal cruelty and yet, if she fought back, the wife could not bring up his persistent provocation in her defence... unless she was defending herself against the charge of murdering him.

Sometimes the law does seem to tend towards ass-like.


Thursday, 15 October 2009

HNT: Kitagawa'sThe Lovers and Blog Action Day

Ruf has had this picture blue tacked to the wall on the far side of the room for a long time. In the spirit of our new-found domesticity, he got it framed and moved it closer.

Unfortunately, the angle of the camera on timer makes it look crooked...

That morning, all naked and dishevelled, I took the opportunity to use the best possible way to thank my wonderful man for the seismic changes he has helped me to make in my life.

I have reflected many times on the day that I realised just how much he cared about me.

He said: 'I love you and I want you to be my wife.'

Still trapped in the swirling vortex of destructive emotions that consumed me until only a few weeks ago, I could only respond:

'But I'm not sure I want to get married again.'

And then I cried because I realised that I'd spoiled what should have been a magical moment. He said at the time that I hadn't and that it wasn't a proposal but when he wants to propose properly, I will know because it will be far more romantic...

He really is more of a rough diamond than a ruffian.

A link for those who cannot use the mouseover x


I just haven't had time to launch into a diatribe of how I love wind turbines and would love to batter our energy providers for selling our ability to keep warm to foreign companies who are more interested in shareholder remuneration than using the profits for the purposes of updating our outmoded systems which don't comply with European directives and so will see them having to close down power stations that provide 20-25% of our energy needs.

And breathe.

What I will say is that there was no heating on when the above photograph was taken and I am determined to try to get to the end of October without activating the boiler, other than for hot water.

As my gran would have said: "Put a jumper on."

But then I do have my love to keep me warm...

Wednesday, 14 October 2009

The LoveHoney Sqweel

When Ruth at LoveHoney> contacted me to be involved in their top secret launch event, I was totally intrigued. I had absolutely no idea what to expect, whether it would be a toy or a lube or something completely different.

As soon as I got my hands on the parcel, I got stuck in straight away. The packaging was really nice. Not square, but with the base wider than the top like an Inca pyramid or a really interesting box of chocolates and emblazoned with the words 'Sqweel'.

The narrower white lid opening upwards to reveal the plastic encasing a black, circular disc-like device. Upon closer inspection this turned out to be more shell-like. It reminded me of those tiny little toys you get with Polly Pockets.

Inserting the thoughtfully-included three AAA batteries, as instructed in the little manual, I pulled off the lid to reveal the internal workings. It contains a wheel of little pink silicon tongues which are evenly spaced around its circumference. You place these against your clit and operate the control button on the bottom of the case with your index finger. From slow to medium to fast the tongues rotate around their central axis, stroking your clit upwards or downwards depending on which way you hold the case.

It also feels very nice on your nipples or your man's scrotum and the addition of a water-based lube in all areas adds to the sensation.

The device is not waterproof so should not be used in the bath or shower.

Cleaning-wise, it seems to come apart fairly easily, so you can wash the tongued wheel in warm soapy water or an anti-bacterial sex toy cleaner. The inside and outside of the casing just needs the attention of a damp cloth.

All in all, it's a very cute and original little addition to the toybox. My only concern is that, for me, it was more of a pleasing tickle than truly orgasm-giving so for the more demanding consumer, it might prove to be a little lightweight. However, in addition to my normal menopausal state, which seems to mean that I require excess stimulation, I was trying it out during a weekend with Ruf when my clitoris gets as much attention as it can really cope with so it does have a tendency to become desensitised.

I think I shall return to this product in a couple of weeks for an update.


Tuesday, 13 October 2009

Sugasm #175

I feel very honoured to be a pick on the last Sugasm before it goes on hiatus.

However, I do think it is time for a rethink. I submit something every week but, so often recently, I have had to wade through 30-40 posts of mind-numbing sameyness and some weeks I just lost the will to vote altogether. It was almost as if we've exhausted our ability as writers to describe the sexual act in a different way. And it's not just that the quality of the writing has decreased but that the whole idea of the Sugasm seems to have been lost.

The job of Sugasm Editor is not an enviable one. It involves an awful lot of hard work, collating the different entries and then the votes and ensuring that everyone has followed the rules.

A few months ago, I helped Radical Vixen by checking to ensure that all those who had submitted entries, had also posted the listing the following week. This process involved me having to check out over 30 different websites and by the end of the week, quite a few had not posted the winners listing. It was time-consuming, repetitive work and I have nothing but admiration for her for having kept this up and stayed sane for 175 weeks.

It's not just that, but the voting process itself became flawed when so few of the participants actually took the time to register their preference. It almost became the case that you could rob yourself of a pick by registering a vote for someone else because there were so few votes being cast.

With this in mind, if Sugasm is to return - and I'd like to think that it should because it does seem to be a focus to point readers in the direction of good writing that week - perhaps the rules needed to be addressed and changed slightly.

Instead of only the participants voting, perhaps the entire list should be submitted to the blogging world and the opportunity given to other readers to register their preference...? Or, if this is too cumbersome, then it should be the case that if you don't vote regularly, you will not be allowed to submit...?

Any other suggestions?

Or perhaps you think that Sugasm has had its day...?

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

Please note: After this issue the Sugasm will be going on indefinite hiatus. Please do not submit posts via the form until further notice. If you need to contact me email radicalvixenatgmaildotcom

This Week’s Picks
Pitiful“Sometimes I miss you so much that I am pitiful.”

MFM: Frustration“I feel the weight of someone kneeling between my legs.”

Give me one
“Give me your orgasm.”

Sugasm Editor
Fetish Fridays: Kidnapping

Editor’s Choice
In Which Steff Has The Worst Birthday Ever

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

Monday, 12 October 2009

Saturday, 10 October 2009

The Mammogram Debate

Following on from the Boobie-thon week and Breast Cancer Awareness month here in the UK and, since I now have the results, I thought this was relevant here.

As part of the rebuilding of Joanna Cake, I decided to get my physical health checked up, as well as continuing to work on my mental attitude with the Counsellor.

I booked an appointment to have my breasts examined at our local specialist Unit, which runs on a charitable basis outside the NHS. I've been having this done on and off since I was 20. The nurse manually palpates your tissue to check for lumps and checks that you do so yourself correctly every month.

This time, when I called, I was told that Unit policy now says that women under 50 should have a mammogram every year and those over 50 every other year. I last had one of these torturous tests over five years ago when I had a lump under my armpit. This turned out to be a hormonal reaction by my breast tissue and the pain and size of the lump in the second half of every month was regulated by using Starflower or Evening Primrose Oil which contains gamma-linolenic acid (GLA). You can imagine that I was not terribly enthusiastic about being told that I had to repeat the process when I didn't actually have a problem, especially as I was concerned about the risks of radiation exposure.

Since that last unpleasant experience, the quality of the specialist performing the mammograms and the improvement in machinery were very obvious as it was a relatively pain free experience. I had two films on each breast, one from the front and one from the side. The view from two angles increases the chance of detection by 25% and I'm relieved to say that all came back clear.

However, I'm still not sure whether I like the idea of one of these tests every year until I'm 50 and then every other year thereafter, so I will continue to examine myself regularly and give it some more thought so that I am more prepared when they call me back again next year.

The national policy for the UK is a mammogram every three years for women over 50.

I found this information at the very helpful site called cancer help who are part of Cancer Research UK.

Research is comparing having mammograms once a year to mammograms every 3 years. With 3 yearly mammograms there is a more of a risk that cancer could develop between tests than there is with yearly mammograms. But with mammograms every year, women are exposed to 3 times the radiation that they would be with 3 yearly screening. And of course it costs 3 times as much. Some studies have found a slight increase in the number of breast cancers detected in women who have annual screening because more women are now attending but more research is needed in this area.

As with all X-rays, having a mammogram exposes you to some radiation, but only a small amount. Scientists have worked out that there is less than a 1 in 25,000 risk of a mammogram causing breast cancer. About 7 breast cancers are found for every 1,000 women screened as part of the UK breast screening programme. And in these women the cancers are generally at an earlier stage, when it is more likely to be curable. So, doctors and researchers generally think the benefits of finding breast cancer early far outweigh the small risk of radiation from screening mammograms.

If you are younger than 50, your risk of breast cancer is very low. And mammograms are more difficult to read in younger women because the breast tissue is denser, so the patterns don't show up as well. There is currently little evidence that regular mammograms for most women under 47 can prevent death from breast cancer. One UK trial is looking at offering yearly mammograms to women from the age of 40 or 41, who will go into the national screening programme when they reach the age of 50. Early analysis of the data from this trial shows that annual mammograms do pick up some cancers in these younger women but it is not clear whether this will save more lives. The results of this research will not be available for many years

About three quarters of women (75%) go for their breast screening appointments. In 2004 to 2005, over 1.7 million women were screened for breast cancer in the UK. Only 5 out of every 100 (5%) were asked to go back for more tests.

If there is the slightest doubt about your mammogram, but no real sign of cancer, you will be asked to come back for another test after 6 to 12 months. 3 out of every 100 women who are asked to do this need to have further tests after their second mammogram.

If you find a breast lump or have any other symptom that is worrying you, always tell your doctor, even if you recently had a normal mammogram.

It is important to make sure that you know how your breasts normally look and feel, even if you are having mammograms regularly. Most breast cancers are still found by women themselves because cancers can show up between mammograms. This is known as an 'interval cancer'. If you notice any symptoms that could be due to breast cancer don’t wait until your next mammogram. See your GP straight away. There is information on how to check your breasts in the early detection section of CancerHelp UK.

Last updated 06 May 2009

CancerHelp UK is not designed to provide medical advice or professional services and is intended to be for educational use only. The information provided through CancerHelp UK is not a substitute for professional care and should not be used for diagnosing or treating a health problem or a disease. If you have, or suspect you may have, a health problem you should consult your doctor.

Copyright Cancer Research UK 2002
Cancer Research UK Charity Number 1089464

Thursday, 8 October 2009

HNT: Natural Woman

Julia Roberts is a natural woman... and a very courageous one to expose herself to the paparazzi in all her normalness.

I wasn't in time to join in with the 'Flawed' HNT a couple of weeks ago but it certainly made me think. All the participants were so brave and I just can't hack it next to all of you.

I have come such a long way in terms of my body dysmorphia and anorexia but I've still not conquered it totally.

There were two more pictures in this series but I deleted them because I loathe any sign of blubber on my body. My rational brain tells me that it isn't fat. It's just where I'm bent double. In order to be able to stand up again, there has to be some extra flesh but, over the last few years, in common with other ladies of a certain age, including Julia, the texture of that skin has become less elastic and I hate it.

Ruf laughs at me because most people wouldn't even notice, but I'm just not ready for that area to be scrutinised by all and sundry. And yet, I am now confident enough to allow him to photograph me in ways that I never could have three years ago.

I wander around his flat totally naked, without any inhibitions or concerns, because I am so confident in his desire for and approval of the body that once caused me so much disgust.

And every so often, I catch myself humming:

Non-mousers should click here


Wednesday, 7 October 2009

Sugasm #174

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #175? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
5 things I have learned from customers last week at the adult store
“Attractive men typically buy the freakiest toys on the market.”

Doctor’s Visit
“Reach back and spread your cheeks for me”

“Recently it was in a more public venue.”

Sugasm Editor

Editor’s Choice
A Race to the Finish

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

Tuesday, 6 October 2009

Emotional Bliss

When the lovely Nina from Emotional Bliss wrote to me offering me the chance to try out one of their new vibrators which were designed with the menopausal woman in mind, I was intrigued. I read somewhere that us ladies of a certain age require additional stimulation because of the vagaries of our hormonally messed-up bodies. However, I didn't really want an industrial-strength vibrator because I'm always worried about burning out my sensitive nerve endings down there.

According to the blurb on the press release and their site, the new Femblossom Heat is the Femblossom with a surprise, it heats up! The single click function enables the Femblossom to gradually heat up to coincide with the speed and frequency of the programme selected creating an additional pleasurable (and warm) experience.

Not only does it heat up but it also has a unique antibacterial agent which means a few minutes after use and after wiping with water, it becomes sterile and ready to use again.

The first time I used it, I was with Ruf. It was very pleasant, but the handset is quite large so it did rather get in the way when he was trying to simultaneously penetrate me vaginally (next time, we will have to try anal) and having it on my vulva for a long period left it a bit irritated because of the heat generated.

However, I felt it was sufficiently interesting to give it a go when flying solo. A few days after Ruf's visit to my flat, I woke on a windy Autumnal Saturday morning sufficiently relaxed to feel the need for a little self pleasure.

I lubed it up and started switching through the programmes. There are nine different vibrating frequencies 'ranging from Tantalizing to Intense' and very pleasant they are too! Continuous; Buzz, Buzz, Buzz; and V-V-Voom, each with three different levels of speed/intensity.

I started with the gentle continuous buzz. The heat was equally as gentle. Just warming up my nether regions nicely until I was ready to move onto medium continuous. The controls are on the back of the head just an up button and a back button so it is easier to work your way through the settings and come back to the one before if you preferred it. The temperature rises progressively in conjunction with the intensity of the vibrations.

The pulsator was very enjoyable, especially long long looooooong, although it is quite noisy at the higher, faster settings and I was a little concerned about the occupants of the flat in the bedroom below. The full on continuous buzz is not quite as powerful as the Tulip so you build up to the orgasm gradually, rather than coming in less than a minute, which is good if you just want to be aroused gently. However, if you've just spent the weekend shagging and your nerves are not so sensitive, it can be a bit frustrating.

The unusual design of the cobra shaped head means that it caresses the natural contours of the body, so the heat encompasses the whole of the vulva, but the pointed end is also good for focussing on specific areas inside the labia. I really enjoyed using it to get inside and stimulate the side of the clit hood, the left side is a particularly effective and sensitive spot for me.

I have an image that remains with me of the previous weekend's activity when Ruf fucked me from behind over a chest of drawers in my bedroom in front of two mirrors. In my mind's eye, I can still see the magnificent reflection of the ripples of his six pack grinding against the soft white curve of my bottom as he penetrated me and this was what I visualised as I came.

With the body of the device warming the top and outer lips of my labia, I pressed the tip of the cobra's nose against the left side of my clit hood. I felt all my pelvic floor muscles instinctively engaging and drawing in, sucking upwards and applying maximum pressure on that sweet spot inside me so that it was sandwiched between the vibrating depression of the Femblossom and the tightness of my own internal muscles. As the orgasm hit, I could feel the tingling warmth spreading from my feet and up the back of my calves. It was very pleasant indeed... and just as good the second time some minutes later when I changed it from continuous vibration to voom...voom... vooooooom.

An hour later, I went back to my messy toy and just wiped it over with a wet cloth, rather than the whole ritual of getting out the cleaning spray and ensuring that all surface areas have been covered. Far less effort, which makes me a fan of the built-in antibacterial.

So, in summary: The Femblossom was great for clitoral stimulation. The gentle warming of your bits is really lovely, although can get a bit uncomfortable after a while because, for me, it became too hot after use for a long period. The pulsator is good, especially voom voom voooooooooom. Full on continuous is not as powerful as the Tulip, but was sufficient to give me a very pleasant orgasm. The design is great for external arousal of the whole area, but also to get inside and stimulate side of clit hood. Used with a partner, I was desperate for penetration and its size obscures the vagina too much. Next time we will try with anal. Quite noisy when tested against the Lelo range but compares favourably with all my other vibrators.

The advertising blurb says that Emotional Bliss Intimate Massagers are designed to stimulate orgasms and it certainly worked for me.

Monday, 5 October 2009

Mute Monday: The Fall