Thursday, 24 September 2009

HNT: Affirmation

I kept trying to quote my affirming mantras throughout all the trials and tribulations of the previous few weeks.

When my Husband disrespected me at the most basic of levels in front of our children and still expected me to try to run his household smoothly without any standing in their eyes.

And, still, part of me tried to defend his actions. Found reasons and excuses for the most inexcusable behaviour and made allowances.

Someone told me recently that it is not until all hope is gone that you can reach the bottom and bounce back. Acceptance of the nadir is the springboard to the future.

Lying in Ruf's arms as he held a person who thought she was a nobody, he stroked me and gently shook my head to try to tap out all the frenzied thoughts teeming around my brain. Soothing me with soft words and butterfly kisses, drying my tears and calming my sobs.

But it wasn't until he held my face and looked into my eyes and said those words that I truly knew what it felt like to be the centre of someone's world.

"I'm in love with you and I want you to be my wife."






For the non-mousers, click here











Of course, I had to go and spoil it.











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21 comments:

BenefitScroungingScum said...

OMG Congratulations!!! You've just made my flu filled day so happy!! Love BG xxx

Transylvanian Miss said...

That's truly wonderful! I wish you all the happiness in the world and more because you deserve it!
B.xoxo

southerngirl said...

May you both live, love and of course eat CAKE!!!

xo

Morning Glory said...

Aw hunny you made me tear up. *hugs* No woman should ever feel that low. Never never never.

xoxo.

That is a lovely photo of you though. Love your neck. It's very pretty.

Cate said...

So lovely.

I am just wondering how you 'spoiled it'.

Cate xxx

Gorilla Bananas said...

Congratulations, Joanna! If you said "no", you can always change your mind. Good old Ruf! In many ways he's an even nicer chap than Desmond Lynam.

Mr. Nighttime said...

Congrats Joanna! All the happiness in the world should be yours.

Oh, and btw, you have the sexiest sternocleidomastoids I have ever seen....

Southern Sage said...

Hmmmmmm
I wonder how you messed it up??
great pic!

Osbasso said...

Ummm...am I reading this differently?

Joanna Cake said...

LOL, Hold your horses guys! As Os has said, there is more than one way of reading it and it was a statement not a question.

Whatever it was, I spoiled it. Ruf says I didn't, but I did. More on this later.

I am curious as to which bit are my sternowatsits :)

Transylvanian Miss said...

I think it is simply lovely that he said it to you in the first place...

Mr. Nighttime said...

Sternocleidomastoids - See those lovely muscles on hte right and left side of your neck? The ones that curve up from the collarbone, towards the back of your head? They allow you to turn your head left and right...and are wonderful to nibble on as well... ;-)

Elle said...

Ouuuh I see someone peeking!

Lovely words to tell you when you need to hear them the most. But how did you spoil it???

His_Baby_Doll said...

I am sure you didnt spoil it. He said you didn't and its his opinion that matters in this case.

What a wonderful thought from him, I hope all the best for you both

Vixen said...

What a beautiful neckline you have dear!

Barefoot Dreamer said...

but??????

Isabella Snow said...

So what's that mean then??

Boxer said...

I've been reading your blog for 2+ years and this made me cry and smile at the same time.

Joanna Cake said...

MrN - Why, thank you, Id not really noticed before. Nice side effect of punching things :)

Im still not totally sure what it all means but more will be revealed in the next couple of weeks.

What I will say is that just knowing that's how he feels has put a spring in my step over the last couple of weeks :)

Suzanne Portnoy said...

Wow. What a lovely thing to say even if it's just a fantasy, at least until you get divorced. Still, it must be great to know he feels so strongly. I'm really happy for you. Congrats.

nitebyrd said...

Lovely picture but, but .... how did you spoil it? I really doubt you could.