Thursday, 31 December 2009

HNT: 2009 Favourite

As usual, I struggled to select just one favourite so, as I always like to have my cake and eat it too, I give you a top three. Compiled through close consultation with Ruf and involving the input of a couple of fervent admirers.

Next week will see the start of Joanna Cake's Brave New World. The beginning of a journey that I hope will allow me to become a woman of independent means.

I shall be working very hard, but doing something for which I have developed a huge passion and so I crave your indulgence if, now and again, I lose the plot and things get a little intense.

Thanks to all of you for sticking with me and here's to the new decade!

Onwards and Upwards x


Wednesday, 30 December 2009

Pleasurists #58

Pleasurists is a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days. For updates and information follow our RSS Feed and Twitter.

Did you miss Pleasurists #57? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #59? Use our submission form and submit it before Sunday December 27th at 11:59pm PST. Be sure to read our submission guidelines.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

Looking for something other than reviews?

e[lust] #3

Editor’s Pick

  • Eros and Isis Leo by Domina Doll

  • Their line of sensual adult toys are made from 100% silicone and are exquisite objects d’art. With names like Lancelot, Cleo and Leo the Lion, their inspiration lies in mythical eroticism and fervent fantasies. Each erotic object is disguised as a fine art collectable and resemble antiqued silver, jade or gold chess pieces or figurines.

    Note: Every once in a while a toy comes along that simply takes my breath away, and I just can’t resist making it EP for the week, and this was one of those. There are tons of other amazing reviews this week, though too, it was difficult to choose!


Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

On to the reviews…



Anal Toys

Toys for Cocks

Lube, Massage Oil, Bath Stuff, & etc.


Adult Books/Games

Adult Movies/Porn



Pleasurists adult product review round-up banner

Tuesday, 29 December 2009

e[lust] #4

Welcome to e[lust] - your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you're looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you're going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #5? Start with the rules, check out the schedule in the site's sidebar and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

♦ This Week's Top Three Posts ♦

Interrogation - I looked up at him, feigning cluelessness. “I know you can understand me. So I ask you again. Where are the lenses?” Another strike. I crumpled into the bench.

Reconciling the Identities of Feminist & Butch Top - There’s something supposedly anti-feminist about wanting to dominate. There’s something in the feminist rhetoric which says we are all equal especially in bed, so that means I-do-you-you-do-me....

Fire and Ice
- The rain comes down harder around us, the freez­ing drop pelt­ing what­ever skin lies exposed over the sur­face of the water.

e[lust] Editress

By the Twinkling Lights...
- His lips found my nipples and I forgot about the cold. If a car were to drive by and the passengers were to look past the twinkling lights on the tree, they would have seen a naked woman’s rear end pressed against the glass wall..

♦ Featured Post (Lilly's Pick)

Ronjazz: Late Night Rendezvous - Meet me in the parking lot at the post with the broken lamp. 10PM sharp! Do not be late! Stand facing the post, eyes closed. Wear a flimsy dress and heels - nothing else!

See also
: Pleasurists #58 and #59 for all your sex toy review needs

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Erotic Writing

Diary Of A Pissed Off Wife
Happy Halloween
Heartbreak hotel
Marathon Sex
Not Always, But Often: Part 1
Our (Sorta) Intro to BDSM
Rising above the Background
Sex at 2am
The Babysitter
The Chair
The Beginning?
The Pleasure Chest
The Slut Chronicles #10 ~ The Interview
The Walk
Today's Specials: Orgasms, Wet Panties, and Margaritas
Twinkling Heat
We are glass
What I Want

Kink & Fetish

Amber's New Dungeon
Awesome Body Mod Night
Day of Debauchery
Go Ask Teresa: Mothers
Jack was a Picky Eater
Kissing Noises
My very first experience of BDSM
Play Piercing? Seriously? Why?!?
Sounds and Catheters
The Taking of M

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Aftercare, Part I: The Basics
Ask The Negress: Privacy & Perversion.
Do Slaves Deserve Love?
Gyne-Vestiphobia: Fear of Women’s Clothing
Let There Be Love
On My Experience With Sex Toys
Riding The Crimson Wave - Having Sex On Your Period
The Gangbang as Social Commentary
Titty Fucking
TPE (Total Power Exchange): A Novice's Perspective
Weekend Fun

Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor

December 17th
God rest ye, merry cuckold!
You've Got To Be Nuts

Monday, 28 December 2009

Undisclosed Desires

Kneeling between my legs, he admired my nakedness.

Commented on my fabulous nipples and glorious breasts.

The kissability of my flat stomach.

And the wonder of my cunt as his fingers caressed it.

Comparing and contrasting with the previous night when I had arrived, tense and exhausted from an emotional week full of family trauma and compounded by a three hour rain lashed drive along Britain's motorways.

After a suitable period of recovery and a cup of tea, he had tried to initiate. Carefully stripping my clothes away, along with the cares and stresses of my other life, he kissed and petted me into relaxation.

And then, kneeling between my spread legs, he examined my pussy. His fingers touching, stroking and exploring the folds and creases. Squeezing the outer lips together and experimenting with different techniques of arousal.

But I was just too tired to respond properly. Sure, there was some moistness but the flesh itself remained resolutely that... skin, in both colour and texture.

Whereas now, after an intense session of lovemaking and a brief rest to recuperate, those same lips were engorged with blood. Swollen, pinky-red petals that opened like a rosebud to welcome him. Exactly the right shape to admit his cockhead, should he choose to push just a fraction harder.

But, no, he wanted me to wait.

To want.

To need it desperately.

Pulling back his foreskin and clenching the base of his penis in one fist, he watched the dewy, distended fronds sway as if in a gentle breeze. Controlled by the rhythm of my internal muscles as they contracted in response to the gentle ministrations of the fingers on his other hand.

He needed to see the opening dilating and pulsing in recognition of its desire for him.

Required my acknowledgement that all this was beautiful.

My lust.

Wide open to his gaze and calling to him like a siren song.

Until he could resist no more.

The head of his cock, dark red and swollen with the blood squeezed into it by the pressure of his clamped fist. Pushing backwards and forwards along the sodden cleft of my desire, before plunging into the slippery dark depths.

My flesh contracting around and behind him. Sealing him inside as the deluge engulfed him.

And his ears rang to the sound of my screams.

Sunday, 27 December 2009

Gender Benders..

Further to my post on the perineal raphe, Softboy found this article in the Telegraph:

Researchers have found that the body is in a constant fight to remain either female or male and the suppression of just one gene could cause it to "flip" from one to the other.

The remarkable findings refute the generally held view that sex is determined at birth and is irreversible in later life.

They could also lead to treatments for certain gender disorders in children, early menopause in women and even eventually non-surgical sex changes.

In mammals, males have XY chromosomes and females XX. The new research shows that another gene is responsible for switching women into men.

If the FOXL2 is switched on then the body grows ovaries, switched off and they are replaced by testicles.

But what really surprised the researchers is that the process continues after birth and the body remains in a constant tussle to either switch on or off the gene - even in adulthood.

"No one would have betted on this," said Professor Mathias Treier of the University of Cologne in Germany. "That's why the finding is so spectacular,"

The team found that in adult mice by turning off the FoxL2 gene, the ovary cells started to change testicular cells. This suggest the same effect could happen to humans.

"It was thought that you were born either female or male and then your body forgot about it," said Dr Robin Lovell-Badge, the co-author at Britain's Medical Research Council's National Institute of Medical Research.

"But this suggests that the battle of the sexes continues all the way through your life, "

The researchers believe that the process could be similar to that in some fish who are able switch sexes at times when there is a scarcity of either males or females.

Could this be the reason why some people seem confused about their sexuality? A faulty gene switch?

Thursday, 24 December 2009

HNT: 3 Christmas Wishes

This time four years ago, Ruf and I discovered that we both share the same favourite Christmas song.

We've been through some trials and tribulations but, finally, this year, we get to spend the days up to and including Christmas Eve together.

For non-mousers, click here

I really hope that at least three other bloggers can find the same happiness.


Tuesday, 22 December 2009

What's that line on my Scrotum? How it can affect your gender/sexuality

As a woman, I'm naturally very appreciative, as well as curious, about the male anatomical design and I've always been fascinated by the slightly raised line that seems to be the join of the ball sack but it was my friend, Softboy, who explained to me exactly what it was all about.

Known as the perineal raphe, it extends from the anus, through the mid-line of the scrotum (where it becomes the scrotal raphe) and upwards through the posterior mid-line aspect of the penis (to form the penile raphe).

This noticeable line is due to a phenomenon of foetal development where the scrotum (the equivalent of the labia in females) and penis close toward the midline and fuse, causing a ridge of tissue.

Softboy explained to me that this ridge of tissue is formed when the genetic coding decides that the foetus is going to be a boy. If things had gone the other way, then the tissue would have become the lips of the female labia and the tip of the penis would have been her clitoris.

If you look at the upward V formed by the vagina, uterus and fallopian tubes and then correspond them to the upside down V of the penis and balls you can see how it all works.

In cases where the genetic signals become confused, you get babies that have genitals which are neither one thing nor the other and none of it works properly.

Thinking about it in this way, the whole miracle of the formation and gestation of a foetus is quite extraordinary.

But there's even more to it than that.

There are homophobic arguments about people being "unnaturally" or "pervertedly" gay, or suffering what's known as 'body dysmorphia' - where they have all the characteristics of one gender, but are mentally the other. People also think of Hermaphrodites (from a fusion of Hermes and Aphrodite) as being genetic mutations outside the norm.

The point is that we are all hermaphrodite until a certain point in our development, when the X or Y chromosomes should fulfill their potential towards one gender specific development.

Sometimes, for some reason, either the body develops one way and the mind the other (Body Dysmorphia) or the genes get confused or crossed allowing both sets of genitalia to begin to develop (Hermaphrodite), or everything seems to be ok in the complete gender specific arena, but the sexual interest is towards ones own gender, which could possibly be viewed as very mild body dysmorphia.

The evidence for the completely natural, though incorrectly developed issues above are obvious in the evidential similarities shown not least in the perineal raphe, but also the similarity between the internal and external genitalia as below:

The G-spot in the female and prostate in the male giving deeper and more convulsive pelvic floor orgasms.

The fact that men still have 'totally useless' nipples for no apparent reason.

The fact that given heavy doses of steroids which directly trigger hormonal responses, transgender mutations can still be engineered in a person's hirsuteness, voice tone, and both organ and bone shape.

The type of superficial intensity of the clitoral/glans-penile orgasm.

The appearance of the clitoris (which tumesces - ie: swells under stimulation, out from under a hood) and the penis with its foreskin.

The similarity between the testes, vas diferens (tubes) and the ovaries and fallopian tubes.

In short, we are all more alike than we think, and only genetic irregularity makes any of us stray from the male/female norm..... and being gay, or a man/woman trapped in the other gender's body is not a perverted choice. It's just the unfortunate way it is for that being who developed in that way, and has to live in an ignorant society.

Monday, 21 December 2009

Sunday, 20 December 2009

Times Letter Reunites Wartime Couple

I posted this story recently because it really touched me.

Last weekend, they published an update article, which I thought some of you might enjoy.

The last time that Harold Pettinger saw Dorothy Eastwood was on a station platform in Cape Town 68 years ago, the tearful end of a wartime romance that was always destined to end in such a parting.

Two young people thrown together by fate — he was a 20-year-old officer heading off to fight in the Middle East, she was an 18-year-old girl on her way to a new life in what was then Rhodesia. They had met on board a steamer on the voyage from London, fallen in love and then gone their separate ways, knowing that they would probably never see each other again.

The only memento that Mr Pettinger had was the telegram she sent him shortly after they parted. “All my love. Best of luck, Dorothy.”

For more than half a century they spent their lives thousands of miles apart, he in England, she (now Mrs Crombie) in Zimbabwe. But as fate drew them together on the liner RMS Ceramic, they have now been reunited — thanks to a letter in The Times.

Last November Mr Pettinger went to the Field of Remembrance at Westminster Abbey with his son, Martin. Twice he took a cab that day, and twice the drivers refused to take money from an old soldier with so many medals. One of them said that he owed Mr Pettinger more than any fare. Martin Pettinger described their kindness in a letter to The Times, which was reprinted in The Week.

Five thousand miles away in Zimbabwe, an elderly widow picked up a copy of The Week, saw the letter and noticed Martin Pettinger’s name at the bottom. “The name just came up and hit me,” Mrs Crombie, now 87, said. “I thought, ‘This has got to be his son’.”

Although she had made her own life in Zimbabwe — she married a pilot, and had three children — she had never forgotten Mr Pettinger. “I often wondered how he was doing,” she said. “Every now and then something would happen — an old tune you heard on the boat would be played and you would go back to the old Ceramic days. The big one was Blue Moon — that was our tune.”

Their meeting had been a dramatic one. Mrs Crombie, who was on her way to live with an uncle, was sharing a cabin with her sister, and a young mother with a son. “My sister was seasick and this other woman, who was nearest the door, was in a bad way, too. A drunken sailor burst into our cabin and tried to get into bed with her.

“I knew there were a couple of strapping Army officers in the cabin opposite, so I banged on their door and said, ‘Can you help?’ Harold came bursting out and dispatched the fellow forthwith.”

It was the first time that they had talked, but from there, the relationship blossomed. “He was quite a dashing young fellow,” Mrs Crombie said.

“She was a nice girl,” said Mr Pettinger, who was a second lieutenant with the York and Lancaster Regiment. “I always liked blondes. She was always smiling. She was a lovely girl. Who could not be attracted?”

Small memories survive: playing bridge and housey-housey on board, going up Table Mountain, having dinner together at an hotel in Cape Town.

Then, their parting. “I was a miserable heap,” Mrs Crombie said. “That is why I sent him a telegram from Kimberley — I was on my way up to Rhodesia at that stage. When the war was on, everything was so uncertain. We did keep in touch. I think that we imagined that we might see each other again after the war.”

“I was very sorry,” Mr Pettinger, now 89, said. “But you had to be practical. I was on the way to the Middle East. There was nothing I could do. I just had to say a fond farewell, hoping I could see her again but knowing that it was pretty remote.”

They kept in touch for a while. But Mrs Crombie stayed in Rhodesia, while Mr Pettinger, who won the Military Cross at Tobruk, returned to England, married, and spent his career working for Otis, the lift company.

Two lives went by. Then, the letter in The Times. Mrs Crombie tried to track down Martin Pettinger, but failed. This year she took advantage of the Government’s repatriation scheme to live near East Grinstead in West Sussex, to be near her son. She made another attempt to track down Martin Pettinger, this time successfully. “I wanted to phone Harold,” Mrs Crombie said. “But Martin said he had to phone him first. He said, ‘He’s going to have a heart attack’.”

After discovering that Mr Pettinger was living only 33 miles away, in Cobham in Surrey, they met a fortnight ago. They met at 10am and did not stop talking until Mrs Crombie left at 7pm. “I was delighted,” said Mr Pettinger, whose wife died 21 years ago. “But, if we passed in the street, neither of us would have known each other.”

“I was amazed that it was quite comfortable from the word go,” said Mrs Crombie. “It did not take long to get back to where we were.”

And, yes, now what? “We are getting a bit ancient,” said Mrs Crombie. “We are just enjoying what is left. It is nice just to coast along and see each other from time to time.”

“Take it steady, old chap,” Mr Pettinger said. “There’s not much life left in this old dog.”

But somehow there seems to be a bit more than there was before Mrs Crombie turned up again.

I just think it gives us all hope for the future.

Friday, 18 December 2009

Let there be love

Was it just coincidence that this song was playing on the radio?

Whatever, it made the perfect backdrop to the conclusion of a session of lovemaking where we both put into practice what we had been learning through our pelvic floor researches.

For me, it's been thinking about lengthening my spine; pushing my coccyx downwards so as to engage the mulabandha (core muscles), combined with consistent use of my Kegel 8, which has made the whole vaginal canal so much tighter.

For Ruf, it's been research on engaging his core muscles and also his pubococcygeus (love muscle) to thrust at the best angles and delay ejaculation until the optimum moment.

But, more than that, it's been about the connection that is growing between us, the desire to give and receive the best orgasms and the knowledge that someone else cares enough to seek out ways to improve what was already a pretty spectacular communion.

Kneeling on the bed, we kissed each other into a state of excitement as various items of clothing were lost. He explored my most hidden parts with his fingers, comparing and contrasting with the previous evening where I had been so tired that his activity had borne very little fruit.

This time the pressure of his fingers on the clitoral hood gently aroused the mercurial nub that lurks beneath and then, the introduction of one finger inside and onto the rough spongy texture that comprises my gspot completed the job in a liquid shower that presaged the imminence of what was to come.

Pushing me back so that my knees were tucked under me with my hands and arms supporting the weight of my body, he pressed the head of his cock repeatedly up and down the length of my vulva.

The shape of the cockhead fitting neatly into the slot provided, until I was mentally begging him to penetrate me. Opening my knees wider and wider to try to encourage him inside, he ignored the pressure and continued at his own pace.

His eventual tiny incursion drew gasps of anticipatory pleasure before he withdrew slightly and then repeated the process. Each time pushing just a little bit further inside me until I was awash with the joy of him. And then pumping slowly in and out, each thrust taking me higher and higher as the cries erupted from me in ever increasing volume.

After getting on for 15 minutes of concerted effort, which had taken us through Muse's 'Undisclosed Desires', Aerosmith's 'Dude Looks Like a Lady', Motorhead's 'Ace of Spades' (with Ruf gripping the back of my neck with his interlocked fingers and pounding into me, his movements synchronized to the beat), followed by a truly amazing orgasm to EMF's 'Unbelievable'.

Whilst my wrists, elbows and shoulders were shrieking as loudly as my own voice, Ruf still seemed totally unruffled by his efforts.

I had to lie fully back to take the pressure off my screaming arm sockets and we adopted a slightly more usual position with me lying on my back but with my knees wide apart. Intuitively, I just knew that I had to get my pelvis as flat as possible to accommodate his thrusts at the correct angle and, once I had achieved the optimum position, it was just glorious.

And then there was just the slightly plaintive whining of Liam Gallagher accompanying Ruf's whispered assertions of his devotion and my own triumphant shouts as each wonderful wave spread through my entire body.

Not just from the most marvellous multiple orgasm but because I knew that I was truly loved.

Thursday, 17 December 2009

HNT: Christmas Tree

If you look really closely, you can see my Star Trek Christmas tree decoration on the right. I think it's meant to be Dr McCoy but it could also be Mr Spock...

I'm waiting for Ruf, who will be arriving on Monday to stay for a few days and we will be able to be together for a few hours on Christmas Eve morning and then meet up again on Boxing Day afternoon.

It's not Christmas Day together, because that still belongs to my children, but it's as close as we're going to get for a few years yet.

For the first time, he gets to see my Christmas Tree and I can drive him round to gawp at all the over-the-top festive decoration extravaganzas in the area. Not that we need to go too far because the house next door has a whole herd of reindeer grazing in their front garden and the building itself is so festooned with lights that I don't actually need to put my own on.

He says he feels like a love-sick puppy... so I'm guessing he must be looking forward to it as much as I am.

For non-mousers, click here


Wednesday, 16 December 2009

e[lust] #3

Welcome to e[lust] - your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in the next edition? Start with the rules, check out the schedule in the site’s sidebar and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

♦ This Week’s Top Three Posts ♦

Presence - I wish that you would look at me now. I am willing you to look at me now, over her body, rocking with the motion of her mouth. But you do not.

Restraint“Do you like what you see?” the blonde asks. “Are you excited by what’s before you?” the redhead enquires. He nods.

What Not to FetishwearDON’T wear a PVC sleeveless vest if you fall into the rotund category. You will look like a bowling ball. With chubby arms.

e[lust] Editress

Fucking for ArtThe proximity of their nakedness and my scrutiny resulted in this beautiful agony of arousal for them both. I asked if they would feel comfortable doing some poses of vaginal penetration for me, and they readily agreed.

♦ Featured Post

The Naked TruthHe didn’t just write a pretty story we could act out, he worked hard to delicately lay us out on the page together, as we are.

See also: Pleasurists #56 and #57 for all your sex toy review needs

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Tricky Balls

Propaganda Sucks in All Directions
Wicked Grounds
Which Reindeer Sex Style Are You?
Five Tuesday: 2010 AVN Award Nominees

Kink & Fetish

Come what may..
While I waited
Caning Before the Movies
Savoring Submission
The Ruler
Give In
Flagging brown
The Mummy Returns
Finding Power Through Play
Microfantasy Monday 24

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Wife Unsure About Sex With Others
Thought Provoked
December: Month of the Rant
Less is More
That’s My Cervix!
Femme Invisibility
Are You Just Kinky or Is It a Lifestyle
Baby Steps and Giant Leaps
Cyber Sex

Erotic Writing

Friends with Benefits
The Tease
Cock. Confession #386
Cal’s wisdom
Blinded and Bound
The Little Things…
The Witness
Quiet and Still
Giving and Receiving
Beasts in the Bathroom
Fixation: Touch
The Pussy Eating Challenge
An Oceans Release part 1
MFM: Etiquette
Office Party
Daydreams & Distractions Droit de Cuissage
Tant pis
Toys, toys, toys
Revenge (Pt. 1)
Claiming: Assume the Position

Tuesday, 15 December 2009

Joanna Cake's Xmas Top Ten

The Fairy Wand from MyPleasure.

All the oomph of the Hitachi Magic Wand in a compact and controllable mini-version. What's not to like?

The Kegel 8 Tight & Tone from Stress No More.

If you set aside 10 minutes a day a couple of times a week, you will tighten your vagina and pelvic floor muscles sufficiently to enable you to give and receive the most amazing orgasms.

I know it's cheating to put two in together, but that's how I like to use them. The Lelo Iris - Silent power in a beautifully designed package used in conjunction with her stubbier clit-stimulating sister, the Gigi, both available from Vibrator-Toys.

The beautiful blue and silver
brocade basque from Bondara

This gorgeous black basque and stockings set from Sexy Girls Lingerie.

In my search for a replacement for the glass dildo that broke into two pieces when I dropped it in the sink, the Zodiac from Bondara.

If you want something a bit different then investigate the warming buzz of the Femblossom from Emotional Bliss

The Diary of a London Call Boy from Xcite books caught me rather by surprise. I really enjoyed it as it has a plot, as well as a believeable main character. They have a whole range of erotic novels and short story collections which are ideal stocking fillers.

Buy adult toys, games and gifts at MyPleasure.

Monday, 14 December 2009

Sunday, 13 December 2009

Ritalin for two year olds...?

I am not the first mother to have had her pre-school child fast-tracked to a shaky diagnosis [of Ritalin].

Two mothers told me of similar experiences. Six years ago, Clare, a mother of three, was told by a nursery school teacher that her three-year-old son had suspected Asperger's syndrome, a form of autism, because he was so difficult to control. "They pushed for him to be referred," she says, "and I was made to feel terrible for not noticing. They were wrong. Eventually I went to a psychologist, who gave me fantastic help. She said that some children need more 'parenting' than others. She advised a fixed routine, to set rigid boundaries and to allocate a period of time every day to spend alone with him - even if it was only fifteen minutes. It transformed his behaviour."

Margaret, who is a doctor, was told by her son's teachers that he had 'real problems' when he was only four. "He's a bright spark but he was the youngest child in his class, born at the end of August," she says. "The teachers complained that he was no good with the other children, but the gap of understanding was huge." Margaret says that her son's behaviour levelled out as he matured, but only after a two year battle to prevent him being given a 'special needs' label. "I've since discovered anecdotally that this is a common problem with boys."

Children as young as two have been prescribed Ritalin, sleeping pills and anti-psychotics.

Helen Samuels, The Times, Saturday 21 November 2009

This was a truly alarming article, where doctors can prescribe such drugs to the youngest members of our society purely because they display behaviour that COULD be diagnosed as ADHD.

The problem today is that so few people parent properly. They are too busy/too lazy/too soft/too weak to set proper boundaries for their children and then enforce those limits.

Continual over-indulgence in an environment where their every whim is satisfied immediately and there are no repercussions for bad behaviour. Where proper bedtimes are not adhered to and where there is no quality time for anyone, parents or children.

The psychologist had it right.

She said that some children need more 'parenting' than others. She advised a fixed routine, to set rigid boundaries and to allocate a period of time every day to spend alone with him - even if it was only fifteen minutes.

With so many distractions and demands upon our time, kids today need to know that they have the full focus of their parent at least once in a day or they start using attention-seeking techniques... even if it only gets them bad attention. They need some form of fixed time with us when we interact properly as parent and child in order to feel loved and cared for, just as much as we need quality time without their interruptions in order to preserve our own marital relationships.

And don't get me started on the effects of all the chemicals in our foods. Surely it doesn't take an Einstein to link some of these attention deficit disorders with the horrendous diets of the sufferer. Of course no child will eat vegetables if they are able to fill up on sweets, biscuits and fizzy drinks to their heart's content before a meal or in lieu of it if they veto the content. No parent wants their child to go hungry!!!??? Can you remember your parents giving you pudding if you didn't eat your main course? So why are we doing that for our own offspring?

Something has gone horribly wrong when our toddlers and pre-schoolers are being drugged rather than shown how to behave properly.

Friday, 11 December 2009

Toy of the Year - Waving the Fairy Wand

This is one of those toys!

Highly satisfactory for use as a couple and truly exceptional when you're flying solo.

The Fairy Wand from MyPleasure is a mini version of the Hitachi Magic Wand.

The same circular spinning end and with a nice range of attachments to slip onto it. But, the most important point to stress is the POWER.

The OMG! factor.

At only about eight inches long and an inch in diameter, pound for pound, this little fellow packs a mighty punch.

The thing about the Hitachi is that, even in my menopausal state where my nerve endings are just not so sensitive down there, it can be just too damn strong... and that's on the lower of the two settings.

With the Fairy Wand, that power is controlled with a variable speed/power dial that you can scroll with your thumb for less or, indeed, more. It has all the oomph of its bigger sister but delivers the control to the operator. So, it can satisfy those of us of a certain age who sometimes need extra intense, clitoral stimulation as well as catering for the needs of the younger woman.

The flexible neck makes the device incredibly versatile, following the body's curves and contours during all over erotic massage, but also allowing pinpoint accuracy in more intimate areas.

Because I'm not in the States, it was suggested that it would be better to use the battery pack rather than the mains power lead. So I popped in all six AA batteries... which probably should have given me the biggest clue as to how much more I was going to get than with a standard vibrator. Surprisingly, it was not that noisy. I would say considerably less than some of the vibrators I have tested recently although, obviously not in the Lelo league for silent operation.

Riding Ruf in reverse cowgirl, it was light and easy to hold with one hand and compact enough that there was plenty of room for penetration as I attacked my clit with it in that position. We later discovered that it also works in both doggie and when on my back with my leg on his shoulder. It produced a truly fabulous clitoral orgasm for Ruf to ride as his penetration took me over the edge with a gspot double whammy.

Definitely worthy of a regular slot in the toybox for when we are together.

Obviously, I took it home with me to give it a proper test on its own with the intriguing attachments. These are made of silicon so I remembered to use a water-based lube on both me and them.

I awoke one Saturday morning with the urge upon me. Some particularly stimulating thoughts of Ruf securing me spreadeagled on the dining room table and systematically testing the contents of the toybox, if you must know! I pulled out the Wand and slid on attachment number one. This is a dimpled flat leaf-shaped piece of silicone. It's about two inches long and an inch and a half wide and is designed to fit neatly inside your labia so that your vulva and clit are nicely covered. Switch on and feel the vibration gradually increase by scrolling the button. When I finally reached maximum, I could feel every muscle in my pelvic floor contracting tighter and tighter until, with a great sigh, everything released and the orgasm hit.

After a brief respite, I changed to the other 'head'. This has a little penis-type shape about two inches long by an inch in diameter with a smaller version of the dimpled leaf-shape at the front. Slipping the little cock inside me, I positioned the clit stimulator as before and whacked up the power dial. I'm sure my face must have been a picture in reaction to the effect of this little beauty. Following so quickly upon the previous event, everything was still very aroused and so my innards were really motoring in response to this one. The simultaneous stimulation of both the clit and that sensitive area just inside the entrance to my vagina... well, words fail me!

So, three distinctly different methods to orgasm - the spinning wheel, the large flat head and the cock/clit combi. Not too loud. Loads of oomph. The only downside is the heavy battery pack and the lead extending from the end of the wand to it. But it's a longish lead and there were far too many other distractions to really make it worth complaining about.

This is definitely a regular and will be making the journey with me to Ruf's on a regular basis. It's far too useful as a solo implement to leave there permanently.

I would say this is probably my favourite toy of the year and comes highly recommended!

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Thursday, 10 December 2009

HNT: Lady in Red

The lovely people at sexy-girls lingerie sent me this little beauty for Christmas. The pants were a little generous but I think the rest of the ensemble shows off my assets rather well.

However, despite some frantic searching, Ruf just couldn't lay his hands on a Santa hat to complete the outfit.

It was a wonderful weekend. The sex was just amazing but, more than that, it was the intimacy.

You just know that a man is in love with you when he admits that, when he went to the football match with the lads as usual on Saturday afternoon, he found himself thinking about the morning's activities and wishing he was with you rather than focussing on the game in hand.


I've always known my place in the three Fs - Football, Food and Fucking - but things seem to be changing.

And when you are loved by a man who isn't embarrassed or afraid to tell you that he does, it feels like the most brilliant thing in the world. My self-confidence has sky rocketed and, sometimes, I feel as if I must glow with happiness.

He even commented that when we went out on the Saturday night, I sparkled.

It's not so much that I have been validated by a man, more that I feel genuinely appreciated, both by him and the other people around me.

What more could a woman want for Christmas than the return of her self-respect?

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Wednesday, 9 December 2009

Pleasurists #56

Pleasurists is a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days. For updates and information follow our RSS Feed and Twitter.

Did you miss Pleasurists #55? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #57? Use our submission form and submit it before Sunday December 13th at 11:59pm PST. Be sure to read our submission guidelines.

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Looking for something other than reviews?

The latest edition! e[lust] #2

Editor’s Pick

  • Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex by Ashley

  • At the core of the book is this: it is very, very difficult to study human beings sexually in a scientific setting. Science and sex are both delicate things and no normal human being is going to act the way they normally do while doing the down and dirty if they’re being watched, probed, evaluated, hooked to machines, and so on.

    Note: Some EP’s are picked because of the review itself and some are picked because the product made me go “Oooooh, want!” This one is definitely the latter. That’s not to say the review isn’t good too, it’s just overshadowed by my desire to read this and everything else by Mary Roach. Will you have the same reaction?


Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

On to the reviews…



Anal Toys

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Lube, Massage Oil, Bath Stuff, & etc.


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