Monday, 7 January 2008

'I want to lick that man' moments

1= Russell Crowe in his Gladiator outfit

1= Brad Pitt in just his little leather
Troy skirt

3= Russell Crowe in Kim Basinger's boudoir
in LA Confidential

3= Viggo Mortensen as Aragorn - nuf said!
Thanks Nitebyrd

4. Richard Burton as Anthony in Cleopatra
- it's that voice

5. Clint Eastwood riding into town as
The Man With No Name - all stubble,
cigar and poncho

6= Mel Gibson's Braveheart - those legs
(Thanks Nadine for reminding me)

6= Daniel Craig's James Bond

6= John Malkovich's dangerous Vicomte
de Valmont. Thanks Dee

6= Robert Redford brooding as Sundance

7= Tom Berenger's protectiveness in Someone
to Watch Over Me. Thanks Loving Annie

7= Brad Pitt's butt as he fucked either
Thelma or Louise

8. Han Solo as he is lowered into that
freezing pit to his death saying
'I know' to Princess Leia's 'I love you'

9. Tom Cruise leaning against the wall
in just his half-unbuttoned jeans
at Kelly McGillis's flat in Top Gun

10. Richard Gere in American Gigolo

11. George Clooney in just about anything

12= Oliver Reed as Athos in The Three Musketeers

Anyone care to add anything Ive forgotten...?


Bittersweet said...

i'm with you on no.11, and now i am distracted, thinking of men ...

i have a weird one for you .. a double date with robert de niro and jean reno (rugged desperados in Ronin)

and Johnny Depp in Chocolat - brooding water gypsy/window fixer.

Anonymous said...

Happy New Year, Cake!

Mine is Harrison Ford pushing whats-her-face against the wall and making her tell him to hiss her in Blade Runner. Hot!

Anonymous said...

LOL. Oops.. that should be KISS, not hiss. ;)

Anonymous said...

I'd have to go with Mel Gibson/Braveheart...pick a scene any scene!

nitebyrd said...

Heath Ledger in A Knight's Tale. Mmmmm ....

Joanna Cake said...

Me - I like the cut of your drift with Jean Reno but Im not really into De Niro. And Im going to be very contentious here and not allow Johnny Depp. I thought long and hard about him, especially in his Pirate carnation but I didnt find him very appealling at all in Chocolat and, whilst he is a very good actor, looks-wise, he is just far too pretty. He cant compete with the mean moody manliness of the others. I wasnt sure whether to include Brad but I felt that the work he had obviously expended on his torso for Troy should be rewarded altho there was some talk at the time of a body double.

Isa - if you want Harrison to hiss, that's fine by me :)

Nadine - Thank you. How could I miss out Mel's Braveheart, a film which is compulsory viewing no matter how many times Ive already seen it. Mel has been added to my selection.

Nitebyrd - Sorry, Heath is very good but, again, he's just too darned pretty.

Being Frankie said...

Now i like em weird.....Christopher Eccleston or Louis Theroux please! x

Effortlessly Average said...


Me, after that tub of chocolate exploded all over my naked body.


BlazngScarlet said...

~Antonio Banderas as "Zorro"
~John Cleese in "A Fish Called Wanda" (I can't help it ... a man THAT funny makes me wanna jump him)
~Sam Elliott in anything (it's the voice)
~Val Kilmer as Jim Morrison

I know there's more .... but I think i'm a bit overheated now! lol

Luka said...

If I were to lick any actor it would have to be Tim Curry as Frank N Furter in the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Constance said...

I think you got the best ones :)

I do remeber Sam Elliot in Lifeguard and Mask... And Tom Berenger in Someone to Watch Over Me... Yummy !

Dee said...

My vote is for John Malkovich - especially from Dangerous Liaisons. Mmmm ...

xx Dee

David said...

I think I might post along the lines of "I want to stick my head between them and go 'hubba-hubba-hubba' moments"

I don't know though. What do you reckon? Tacky? Let me know, and I'll get cracking on the list. I think I can get hold of a pile of Zoo magazine to help me, and maybe some of the pages won't even be stuck together!

Vi said...

Brad Pitt riding in on his horse in Legend of the falls! I creamed my pants in that scene!

Joanna Cake said...

Jasmine - I can see the attraction but I wouldnt want to lick either of them

EA - Sadly Im just not that keen on chocolate. Ruf and I did try it once with Green & Blacks but the dark chocolate just goes cacky in your throat making a glass of water imperative...

Blaze - Yes I can see Antonio has something, especially the voice but as soon as I think of him, I get this vision in my head of him being sink plunged by Melanie Griffiths awful manufactured lips. John Cleese will, for me, forever be Mr Fawlty. Val Kilmer has something but he's not quite the full banana for my list.

But who is this Sam Elliott??

Luka - Tim Curry is just too camp to be truly in the lickable class for me...

Annie - More Sam Elliot. Why have I never heard of this guy? Thank you for reminding me about Tom Berenger 'Someone...'. Now he has to go on my list!

Dee - John Malkovich as the Vicomte de Valmont. Yes, yes yes!!!

Duke - That would indeed by a crass and tacky post. This, however, is very different in that we have not specified where it is that we want to lick. For most of these guys, it is not a specific body part but their very celluloid presence in this particular film incarnation that entices our tongues. Far more cerebral than a hubba hubba moment :)

Vi - Im with you on that one but, since he's already in the list twice, I think we might be on overkill. I also think that in that film, his prettiness almost detracted from his moody lickableness.

David said...

Well, we all have our own idea of what constitutes "cerebral", I suppose. Me, I'm sticking to my long standing fantasy of a waterbed, a pile of paperbacks and Mariella Frostrup.

Effortlessly Average said...

Well, don't I feel sheepish. heh.

Manuel said...

Manuel in his apron.......just his apron...hehehehehe

Joanna Cake said...

Your Grace - Mariella Frostrup mmmmm. She almost deserves to get onto the lickable list with that voice :)

EA - There arent many women who want to lick wool you know! It was the chocolate not you that was being vetoed. Clearly a full frontal shot of you looking mean and moody will need to be produced for the perusal of the ladies present...

Manuel - ditto. Produce said photo and we'll take a vote :)

Effortlessly Average said...

Uh oh. Have you seen a full frontal shot of me looking all mean and moody? I thought I deleted all those! heh.

2 Dollar Productions said...

I've got nothing to add, but then again, you don't need anymore fuel to the fire. Ha.

Anonymous said...

I didn't get past 1.) Russel crow. Oh my. That's a slab of meat I will take rare please.

Anonymous said...

Yum indeed. Very lickable.

Effortlessly Average said...

Yeah, sure, everyone will take Russel Crow... right up to the point when he smacks you upside the head with a telephone. heh.

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

I love this topic. Ummm....James Franco in Tristan and Isolde. Lame movie, BEAUTIFUL MAN. I would like him for 4 hours straight. or longer.

Karen said...

Josh Holloway (Sawyer from LOST) in the scene where he and Kate are being held captive in a cage and after months of unresolved sexual tension they FINALLY bonk their brains out. Lucky bitch.

raffi said...

pee wee herman in "pee wee herman's big adventure" when dancing to the tune "tequila"

Sulpicia said...

Cristopher Walken, Rutger Hauer, and, definitely, Jean Reno... and Armand Assante.

Joanna Cake said...

I had some more thoughts on this too - I have inexplicably left out Daniel Craig, who is lickable at any time but particularly when he emerges from the sea in his pale blue Speedos in Casino Royale. I would also like to add in, rather controversially, Tim Roth in Rob Roy and Ralph Fiennes in Schindler's List. There was something so archetypally evil about both of them and yet...

EA - No one has actually seen them but there has been talk! And the whole thing about Russell and the telephone incident is the fact that that bad side is so undeniably there.

2$ - We're all being very good and discussing this in a most unexcitable manner. Weighing up the pros and cons of the worlds most delicious men without being salacious :)

UW - This is why he gets two mentions!

Brainiac Chick - Glad you approve

Chelsea talks Smack - Yup, I can see what you're saying but he was just a bit too wet in that part, just like Rufus Sewell who deserves a mention for dark brooding good looks/acting.

Gypsy - Lots of people seem to like Sawyer and that guy from Prison Break too. I didnt watch either series so I shall have to give these two another viewing.

Raffi - Who is this Peewee? I shall investigate.

Sulpicia - I like your thinking. Ive loved Armand ever since I first saw him in Private Benjamin. He has a certain je ne sais quoi with that accent and face but the problem with both him, Rutger and Christopher Walken is that they all play bad guys so well that you know there is no chance of changing them if that is the path of their role. They are bad through and through.

nitebyrd said...

Viggo Mortensen as Aragorn. Actually, just Viggo Mortensen.

Joanna Cake said...

Nitebyrd - How could I have forgotten Aragorn? He's in!

Jackie Adshead said...

Mostly I agree with your gorgeous and delectable list but would prefer Pierce Brosnan (sigh) as my James Bond, and definately Paul Newman over Robert Redford anyday or at least how he was in Cool Hand Luke! And what about Harrison Ford as Indiana Jones? And Ed Norton, maybe... ?

Black Lucia said...

A previously silent reader and admirer of your hot prose here, wanting to add her two cents. :)

Alan Rickman in anything. Mmmm, that voice...

Paul Bettany in A Knight's Tale (Heath who?) or The Da Vinci Code... who knew mad albino monks could be so sexy?

Gerard Butler and any of the other Spartan warriors in 300... ooh

Joaquin Phoenix in Quills.

Edward Norton in The Illusionist. Love his look in that one.

Jude Law - just too beautiful.

Joanna Cake said...

Jackie - All hot but not quite lickable enough Im afraid. Harrison is already in there in his Han Solo incarnation, I think Indy was just a bit too 'good' and the same with Paul Newman, despite his beautiful eyes. Their bad boy spirit just doesnt shine through. Pierce Brosnan I had to think twice about. For his small role in The Long Good Friday where he managed to convey more menace with a silent smile in the last few minutes than most actors can in a whole scene. I shall consider. Ed Norton is too babyfaced.

Black Lucia - Hello and Welcome.

Alan Rickman is divine but Im not sure the body matches the voice in lickability terms.

Paul Bettany - now you're talking. He outshone his costars in both those films but it was more masochistic menace in Da Vinci.

Gerard and the 300 were also considered but the characters were all a bit too cardboard cartoon to make it.

Joachin - Nope I just dont get him Im afraid. He will always be the nasty Emperor who was Maximus's enemy.

Ed - as I said to Jackie too babyfaced, even tho I loved the Illusionist and Fight Club.

Jude Law - very beautiful but he's just a bit wet.

Keep trying people :)