Saturday, 6 October 2007

Size Matters

In the light of today's exhilarating win for England over Australia to reach the semi-final of the Rugby World Cup, a topical post... with a twist.

I've always been a rugby girl - that's Union not League because I never liked their silly short shorts. I was pretty much brought up in a Rugby Club from the time I had big enough boobs to serve beer from behind the bar. Consequently, I have always liked muscular, athletic men who exude testosterone but still have the requisite amount of intelligence to challenge me mentally.

I have a crush, a huge crush... in the form of Joe Worsley. He plays rugby in the back row for Wasps and England. He is 6'5" tall, with over 17 stone of rippling abs and other muscle, and rejoices in the nickname Melonhead.

I saw him doing a stint of punditing for the Beeb recently when he was injured so unable to play. Despite the Melonhead tag, he really isn't a knucklehead like some of the other players who have made the transition from the field to the microphone a la Brian Moore/Eddie Butler. He was surprisingly erudite, with the ability to string together coherent sentences of more than ten words. For me it was a blissfully satisfying ten minutes... particularly as everyone else was out and I could properly enjoy the experience.

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I know it is a totally impractical infatuation but that doesn't matter. I've always had this thing about back row forwards - that's numbers 6, 7 and 8 to the less initiated. It started with Nick Jeavons of Moseley and England, who was probably the first man I really fantasised about properly - imagining the more intimate sexual acts as opposed to simply snogging and snuggling.

I love the whole idea of all that power - the strength and size towering over me and lifting me about like a feather. Particularly the thought of me riding cowgirl. Mmmmmm.

As a very small person of just over 5' and under 8 stone, you have no idea how important size is. I would say that my best sexual experiences have been with guys of about 5'8. Ruf, Bear and The Cherry Picker are all around about that size. Shorter, stockier guys who can put their arms around me, kiss me and fuck me - face to face.

With my Husband, who is just a smidgeon under 6' at 5'11" and a bit, that never seemed to be possible in the missionary position. I always seemed to spend the encounter with my head wedged under his armpit as he fought to pound me. That, and my penchant for the doggy position, probably constituted one of the main reasons why we stopped kissing.

The term 'size matters' for me was never a question of penis dimensions. To be honest, I think all the men who have made love to me have had very similar members in terms of length and girth, probably 6-7" long and of an average circumference/diameter. Despite what you may think, I haven't actually seen that many erect cocks close up and personal and I hesitate to compare them to some of the ginormous whoppers proferred in the various porn clips I have seen.

The dicks I have experienced personally could all make me come to a degree (well, except Bear as he only ever penetrated me with his fingers so I can't actually say for sure) but Ruf is the one who has had the most success. He says it's important to be pushing slightly upwards when in the missionary - especially with me - rather than purely horizontally in order to hit that gspot and he certainly knows how to find mine without any trouble. I also think he has the additional benefit of a slight curve which seems to make hitting the target pretty much a certainty.

I have to say that the whole idea of 8" or more of wide phallus, as per those porn clips, fills me with horror. I'm tiny. It would burst me. I have friends who have tales of their cunts bleeding after intercourse because the guy was too big. Now how can that be fun? Obviously, I appreciate that if you've had children naturally, things may have got a bit stretched down there so the more well-endowed gentleman will receive a more receptive welcome.

My front entrance, however, is still pristine, having failed miserably to give birth naturally due to pelvic improportion. Loosely translated that means fanny too small to permit the passage of a baby's head. Here, too, size is also a major consideration. Legend has it that your baby's birthweight and headsize will always be equivalent to what you can push out - it's the way the human body works they say.

Well, my cervix took nearly 24 hours to dilate to 7 of the 10cms required and then refused to go any further, despite the drugs they pumped into me to 'assist' in my labours. Things were definitely not helped by my first child's decision to present with her back to my back and her head pushing at an angle out of the small of my back rather than downwards towards the Exit sign. At which point the quantity of drugs injected decided to give me some kind of allergic reaction, resulting in a lovely itchy rash (that took six weeks to dissipate) and a distressed baby. Cue an emergency caesarean under general anaesthetic.

With my second child, there was talk of letting me have a 'trial of scar' until I told them very politely that they could 'fuck right off'. At which point they agreed that I should have an elective caesarean with a spinal block so that I could actually be awake to see my baby's birth. This turned out to be a very good call as my second baby also presented with his back to my back, as I could see for myself when they lifted him out, screaming like mad due to the interruption to his gestation since it was less than 39 weeks and he just wasn't ready to come out yet, despite having to fit into the surgeon's calendar.

But I digress.

Moving back to the original premise and extrapolating further, the thought of having 8" of wide cock up my arse? Forget it! I struggle enough with my glass dildo to ever envisage such a scenario.

Of course, now I'm wondering whether these big guys are actually in proportion because it could totally ruin my fantasies.

Does big feet really equate to massive penis?


Vi vi vi vooom!!!!!!!! said...

*vi twirls off in a huff, just reading the first sentence*

ronjazz said...

Vi's sensitivity, honey, big feet just means big shoes.

Gypsy said...

Bugger about England beating the Aussies. I love big men too Cake and I'm only 5'3". I have never gotten into rugby (Union or League). My game of choice is Australian Rules Football and believe me you would be in heaven at the way some of these guys are BUILT. I LOVE a strong looking man, a man who looks like they can take charge of any situation. Oooh yes....very nice indeed.

bittersweet me said...

ooooh - i shall disagree with vi on the big foot issue. A long time ago i knew an aussie with gigantic feet (he was a very good swimmer too) and his cock was so huge we had real technical issues. I had to lower myself on to him very carefully. Missionary was a total no-no. We should have used a donut ring to help, except i didn't know about such things back then. He was adorable but the physical limitations were a problem.

Size is an issue - i am tall with broad shoulders and i struggle to find a man who can physically contain me. Being physically thrown around is a treat. Pensi size is not so relevant - 7" inches is a treat 'cos he will be pressed against my cervis, but a wide girth can still be intimidating.

Vi vi vi vooom!!!!!!!! said...

Alright, I'm back, out of my huff. Bittersweet, don't put words in my mouth! I was too pissed off to read this post properly!

It's all in the hands.

Big hands, big cocks. yum!

Z said...

You can't tell. I have carried out my own informal, if intensive, research into this and other related subjects over the years, and you don't really know until they've dropped their pants. The biggest cock I've ever come across was attached to a short man, and it was no fun at all. He was one of the nicest men I've ever met, but there was no way I was going to try to get that thing inside me again.

Mr. & Mrs SW said...

Mrs. SW writes: Most of my partners had average to smaller than average cocks and some of the smaller ones have made me cum the best. The one exception was a fellow with about eight or nine inches and about as big around as my lower arm. He was gentle and sensitive but he hurt more than it felt good and I did not cum. The smallest was about three inches and not much bigger than a finger. However he could make me have numerous orgasms.

la fille mariƩe said...

I agree with Z... the biggest cock I've seen was on a man with dainty feet who barely reached 5'6"... and we had to try several times before penetration was possible (although all the trying was much fun).

The second biggest belonged to someone who was 6'3", skinny, with average sized feet.

Anonymous Boxer said...

Wow, you Brits DO love your Rugby (and Aussie's too.)

I think this post will make all "short" men (anyone under 5'8") very happy to know that not being "big" actually has benefits.

and I agree - shoes size is merely a shoe size, but I do love to look.

Lady in red said...

guys who can put their arms around me, kiss me and fuck me - face to face

mmmmm Oxo is not much taller than me and its lovely being able to snog without cricking our necks....
majority of my lovers have been 5'11 or taller, I couldn't say that Oxo's cock is any different in size than the others if anything it is the girth more than the length that differs.

Pixie said...

In my days as a nurse, I could verify the big feet, big cock theory.

For me is all as i can get it comfortably inmy mouth then it's the right size!!

Luka said...

Surely size only matters if you stick to a limited idea of what to do with each other? No-one ever bangs on about somebody having far too big a tongue to fit comfortably in their cunt, or, conversely, it being too small to satisfy. People matter, size doesn't.

BenefitScroungingScum said...

The only foot/penis proportion I've ever known was an ex boyfriend who's dick was bigger than my foot. Needless to say it made sex impractical and uncomfortable.

But, again, I'm like you. Big, tall, broad shouldered men make me melt. At 4'8 and less than 7 stone you'd think I'd have some sense of proportion, but no, nearly all my boyfriends have been 6ft and over. (I've always said its a genetic attempt to even things out!)

Just for you Cake there's even been an ex pro/international Rugby player in there (but I'm too ignorant to know whether it was league or union, sorry)

The only size issue I've ever really had is dick's that are too big to even allow penetration, or that its just too painful and there's no link between that size and the size of the rest of 'em!

Isabella Snow said...

That kid was born in '77, Cake!! I feel dirty just looking at him, lol.

The size thing is interesting. I'm almost 5'4, but unless I'm home, stand over 5'8 in heels.

I've always preferred tall, over 6'1 for sure. But 6'5 a little much for me, cos they tend to be too thin.

I've never noticed the height issue in bed. I have noticed it when kissing someone though. At 5'8, 5'10 does seem like a good height.

However - a 6'2 person could lean against a wall and lower themselves and its not a problem.

Or.. you could stand on a stool.. lol..

Fat Controller said...

Speaking as a short-arse (5'9'') with big feet (11½) or more accurately W I D E feet, I should have the best of both worlds! However, depite being built like a prop forward I am no rugby player, Sorry.

I too appreciate being able to kiss long and slow while in missionary and, although H. tells me I'm not the biggest she's ever tried, she only ever tried him once because it hurt like hell.