Thursday, 6 March 2008

Mental Infidelities - The Voyeur


I know what you want.

I know how much you want to hold the woman who wants you to make love to her. To take her in your arms knowing that it is just the start of the journey and the eventual destination is wet and wanton and wicked.

You want to feel her press her breasts into your chest, run her hands over your body, demonstrate her desire for you. Her lips soft and warm against your face. Her tongue wrapping around yours and burying itself deep inside your mouth. Hear her breathing quicken as your fingers find her nipples and squeeze. You want to rip her clothes off and have her return the favour. Feel her naked flesh against yours, her arms around your neck, hard nipples thrusting into your chest, thighs gripped around your waist, cunt opening for you, soft and slick against your belly. Wanting, lusting, begging for you.

You want to push her back onto the bed and look down at her as she smiles invitingly up at you. Watch the flush of excitement in her cheeks, her lips demanding ‘I want you. I want you to fuck my cunt right now’ and experience the warm, wetness against the tip of your cock as you penetrate her. The tight, lush moistness enveloping you as she opens her pelvis wider so you can drive deeper. The muscles tightening around you as you plunge into her, plundering her silky depths and then withdraw, over and over again. Be aware of the blood pounding in your ears, your throat tightening around the shout of grateful relief as you shoot inside her to the moans and squeals and giggles as she climaxes, your bodies taut with the tension of release and then relaxing back into a sweaty embrace.

Feel her breath in your ear as she whispers endearments and strokes your face, your shoulders, the small of your back, your butt as you drift into the sleep of satisfied fulfilment.

I know what you want.


This was written back in my early days as a Blogger. What I did not reveal then was the whole story.


I had become virtually friendly with someone who read my words. I enjoyed his interest. This man entertained, intrigued and excited me. I had no intention of being physically unfaithful to Ruf but we had been together for some time and his attentions were not as all encompassing as they had once been. It was not that he loved me any less but there were gaps appearing in what had been the constant safety net of his interest… and the man I shall call the Voyeur was there to fill them.

We flirted and sparred verbally and I was incredibly flattered until I realised that I had to tell him that the only way I could ever consider being with him for real would be if Ruf was involved. And then my imagination began to work its magic and I started to hear the words for what he wanted.

His was not an unusual story: A man who was married but had not had any sexual activity for some years. A man who loved his wife and didn’t want to be unfaithful, so he masturbated over what he read on the internet.

I wanted to imagine what it would feel like for him to be in a room with a woman he desperately desired after such a long period of enforced celibacy. To touch her skin and rediscover the joy of being wanted in return. To achieve that peak of physical release as her muscles contracted around him and sucked him dry after so long.

I envisaged all of this… and then I put Ruf in the same room, sitting on a chair and viewing the scene.

I found the whole concept of being watched incredibly arousing. Suddenly a three-some was not a total impossibility. And so the idea of Ruf and Smooth was born, although, in the final draft, Smooth became a composite of a lot of men to whom I had been attracted.

I’m not proud of the way he made me feel but when I visited Ruf a weekend later, I took the Voyeur with me… in my head.

In reality, the Voyeur knew that I was going to see my lover and was well aware of how excited I was at that prospect… because I had told him.

In a break between the bouts of wonderful sex with my Ruf, I went online and checked my emails. The temptation to respond to the Voyeur’s was overwhelming. Not talking about sex specifically but obliquely letting him know that I was getting lots, before returning to bed and making love to my man.

It became impossible to fight the urge to pretend that I was performing for the Voyeur watching from his chair at the end of the bed. I didn’t even know what he looked like, just that he was tall and dark. A half-formed presence lurking in the shadows, studying my every move. And the knowledge that, wherever he was over that weekend, he would be picturing me giving and receiving pleasure. To imagine him wondering what it would feel like to actually be there in that room… that thought was electrifying.

It was cruel, it was faithless but, my God, it was exciting.

My brain was in overdrive from this additional stimulation and I was like an animal - feral and savage in my pursuit of our orgasms. Frenetic fucking causing fierce guttural groans to force their way through my lips as I came and came.

I never told the Voyeur of the effect his virtual presence had on that one session of lovemaking but, perhaps it was for the best that a few weeks later, when I returned from a holiday, he had disappeared...

10 comments:

Vi said...

How HOT!!!!

Did Ruf know what you were thinking?

Anonymous said...

I just found your blog. As a woman in her forties, formally vanilla, I am relating completely with your story. The more I read the more I identify with. Therapy in a way for my life, home and situation. I wish you all good and happy things and thanks for being true here.

having my cake said...

Vi - Ruf didn't know at the time - I hardly knew what I was doing myself - but I have talked to him about it since. He is secure enough in our relationship to know that, as with toys, additional external stimulation is not something to be viewed as a threat.

Anonymous - Hello and thank you.

Gorilla Bananas said...

I do believe you're addicted to male lust, Mrs Cake!

Walker said...

Just like live live porm but you can reach out and touch someone.
Its exciting knowing that someone is watching you make love to someone right there in the same room.

Waynecoff said...

tisssss, thats sizzling honey, you are hot hot hot,
ps, like the new layout,

2 Dollar Productions said...

The first line of the post definitely rings true - this is what a lot of people want.

having my cake said...

GB - Im afraid I may be guilty as charged *looks demure and abashed*

Walker - Sounds like the voice of experience :)

Wayne - Mwah

2$ - I do my best to keep my finger on the pulse of humanity lmao

Phil said...

A story that was beautifully told.

marianne said...

A completely harmless and titillating fantasy... I've done something similar. In fact, I chatted with someone online while I waited for another, in a hotel room. The online one gave me ideas and suggestions, and made a request. I told the man who met me about talking to the other one, and the general nature of the conversation... later, I reported back to the online man. Frankly, the whole thing was very, very arousing.