Tuesday, 25 September 2007

Rehabilitation.... Part 3

Driving back in the torrential rain at stupid o'clock in the morning, I have time to reflect on the past weekend. The fear and the disappointment of the first night, the gradual reawakening of the following day and the revelations of the Sunday. As dawn starts to lighten the sky around Luton and the traffic grinds ominously to a halt, I know I'm going to be late for work but it gives me a chance to remember the previous 24 hours...

The fun we had with my new toy in the morning.

Watching a film snuggled up with him, under the duvet that he insisted on getting for me when I shivered and reached for my fleece. Settling me comfortably on the sofa, before sitting down beside me and tucking me in all protectively, his hand resting over the top of mine, our fingers entwining.

Then, later, it is 2am. I have to get up to drive back in less than three hours. We have been cuddled up in our bed talking on and off since midnight. Our hopes, our fears. The things that are troubling us about the future, about our different ways of coping with all that has happened. Sometimes it's hard and we have to try to address the obstacles and the silences of things that should not be left unsaid. But, when all is said and done, nothing can get in the way of our bodies and their mutual desire.

Kissing and then more kissing has the usual effect. Caressing and stroking every part of one another. Playing and teasing, tormenting and worshipping, our instincts take over, intensifying our passionate need for each other in an attempt to leave a lasting memory before we have to be apart again.

There is, however, a place we have to go before I can leave. Unfinished business that cannot wait or it will become an issue. But it has to be achieved slowly and deliberately. He will not make me, but I know that I must go there, to lay the ghosts, to face the demons before they can fester and multiply.

There is no problem now with arousal and reception, he can enter with impunity and does so. Starting from the bottom with me on my side, hands searching and finding, fingers interlocking and palms pressing against each other with equal and opposite force to achieve maximum penetration as he slides in and out of me.

Then to the rear with me half on my front, half on my side. At first, too deep to countenance but with gentle patience, gradually achieving his goal. Each of us twisting obliquely so we can kiss again. Sliding around so that I am completely on my back with my foot on his shoulder, feeling him deep inside me as my other leg curls around his back.

And, finally, dropping the leg from his shoulder, slipping it down his arm and around his hip so he is encircled, as we make it all the way around to missionary; the place we originally started so many hours ago. He hesitates but I am determined to cross this Rubicon and pull his face down to mine so I can kiss him and reassure him. Holding me close, with my arms and legs wrapped tightly around him, he takes me all the way there, shrieking with delight, my nails gripping into his skin. Lying enfolded in my embrace, every part of our skin touching the other's, he is, at last, home. I can feel him on the brink as he whispers his love for me and kisses me deeply before pulling out and away, reinforcing my trust and leaving me undamaged.

He rolls onto his back and waits. He knows how this will end. Each of us with one hand taking him back to the edge and my mouth sucking him into oblivion, silky and sweet upon my tongue.

For the moment, we are both complete.

10 comments:

bittersweet me said...

sweet. reassuring. inspiring x

Vi vi vi vooom!!!!!!!! said...

Ooooo, I love it when it hits home. I miss that feeling with a guy.

Anonymous Boxer said...

Why does your "non" sex still seem hotter than most "regular" sex. :-)

having my cake said...

Me - thank you

Vi - If only he didnt have to wear a damned condom, he'd be doing an awful lot more hitting home!

AB - My 'non' sex? It felt pretty real at the time lmao

BenefitScroungingScum said...

It's just so right when you feel home and completed. I'm like you Vi, missing it too. I'm glad it came together for you and Ruf again even with the whole condom issue, been where you are now with that! BG x

Angela-la-la said...

Get thee to a steriliser, woman! :)

Isabella Snow said...

Phew! Good stuff!

n said...

That was really beautiful....made me feel so happy for you Nx

Angela said...

Yuck.

Gypsy said...

WOW!!! You two really have something special. Sigh....if only.